Saturday, July 31, 2010

Everytime, your music was in the air.

Things are not the same anymore, you and I aren't. Our hearts aren't, our brains no more working parallel.
The bright day has slowly creeped into a silent strand of sunshine.. It still is sunshine, though. It can never be dark, when it's you, sweetheart.
But only love is not enough. I would have disagreed violently to that, but today, I don't. I don't because so much more matters, because love fades when those vital organs of that soul- that complete body- are missing.
Some say, how does all that matter?
But I say, how is it love if they don't? 
You were like this sudden blast of annoying light into my usual life, someone I absolutely hated the first time I met. You were so goddamn confident about yourself, you knew you could charm anyone by that pissing off-ly beautiful crooked smile of yours. You were such a stealer, and I hated your over confidence.
I didn't want to meet you again. Your arrogance somehow over ruled my confidence. There was something so attractive about that careless confidence and flawless self of yours. I never wanted to meet you again.
But I did.
I did, each and every day after that. And I realized you were such an over confident jerk in the outside, but oh my god, you were beautiful in the inside. You pretended to be a dude, when you were nothing close to that as a person. You tried to hide that intellect that screamed out of your eyes, but they couldn't escape me even on the first day we met.
You became a friend. And slowly someone a little closer. Someone I wanted to see every damn day cause you just brought out the wild side of me. You made me that crazy wild girl I used to be, you brought out the enigma in me. Every day of that summer vacation was a memory that's inescapable. We'd see each other every morning, tour around Delhi, eat like pigs, run like dogs, and return sweat stained late in the evening.
I loved having you around, I loved it so much that I didn't want to think about anything else.

We spoke about black ambassadors when you told me how you felt for me, and the next day wasn't awkward. We were still the best of friends, and that's why I never thought twice before meeting you even after I knew about you feeling for me.
I kept you hanging for so long. For so bloody long. And you kept hanging,
I finally admitted to myself, you charmed me. You charmed me and I had fallen bad for you. After that, we both know what happened. But before anything, you were my best best friend.
I couldn't feel better, could there be anything  better than having that special person as your best friend?
We were so random, we were so bloody wild. We didn't care a damn and went on being kids....

But then?
What now? Why aren't we kids anymore? Why can't I talk to you anymore? Why are there so many "but" and "ifs" now?
I don't remember you anymore. I don't remember the guy I fell in love with. Cause you've lost yourself to so many other things, so many things that were immaterial before. So many things that you and I used to laugh at, together.
Does time do this?

I've let go off you, we're never to cross paths again, trust me. I've let go off you, but I'll live in my world with your memories which are nothing but beautiful. I will be fine, I will be just what I used to be, 2 years back, back to my wildness and flaws. I'll forget that I evolved.

What I'll never forget is, what you turned me into. What I'll never forget is, your memories which are too evident in my common human brain, and which are engraved deep deep down into my heart. What I'll never forget is, the feeling of knowing that pure feeling to have had fallen in love. And that unconditional love that my soul held for you, and always will.

And I'll never forget how my heart smiled, everytime your music was in the air.


  1. *APPLAUSE* :) :) :)

    Fiction or based on real events???

  2. @Tbg: My blog has always been random, and you know that..

    @Eesha: A mix and match of both.

  3. Been there. Done that.
    It's like you were just voicing my thoughts, Nil. Even if I tried doing so, it wouldnt come out to be as lovely as this one!


    And the last few lines had me smiling :)


  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. @oRange*: Thanks hun, I'm glad you liked it.
    And trust me, you would have done a better job.


  6. If it was part fiction, it still seemed all human. Liked it.Loved it. A lot :)

  7. The first part which is the description of love is so dreamy and cute like in fairy tales, the second part is the real life and the transition in between is what I call pain of heart breaking into innumerable pieces. Isn’t it very difficult to live in both the places at the same time?
    Felt sad after reading this...
    On a different note, even I’d like to say how does all that matter? ;)

  8. And the only thing I did when I read this was cry...

  9. I am sure you will be the same wild thing again! Wish you luck! Hope it happens soon :).

  10. I love it random and spontaneous!

  11. One cannot forget the first love.

  12. when one of the two wants what the other can't give.... things change...but some things remain.. the love you shared will always remain

  13. wow..the last line was truly awesome..nice and descriptive..the aura/light bit was also interesting..great work!

  14. well said nil...

    happy frndshp day !

  15. dont knw if this is for real or just fiction, cause many lines had words in-between them which aren't so apparant. but if this is for real, then my dear friend, do believe that to every heart that has been broken stands the might of time, which WILL heal evry wound of urs. till den, just carry on, however and watever way u can, believing that still life's left to live and experiences and memories hidden to nurture; and all of them aren't going to change to leave u behind. and by that time u do so, u'll find urself grown up and more mature-enough to handle wat comes ur way.


  16. **applaud***


    and then alll i am left with is "wow re!!!"

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  18. ust do it already. Ten years down the line. when you've had kids. I'm going to tell them the tale of their mother all teary and messed know what I'm talking about....


  19. You just got an award,please collect it -

    Leave a comment so that I know you got it.
    Thanks! :)

  20. growing up is such a drag!!

    as it seems like a half fiction... i loved the character sketch of the guy much dat i can imagine him...loved the strong head and practical view of the protagonist...which made it feel all the more real

  21. @ Everyone:

    Wow! that sure was a loooong list of feedbacks, and thankyou so so SO very much for letting me know how you all felt about this particular piece.
    I value your feedback on my work, and I hope to give your eyes a better read next time!

    Till then,
    clear skis, no sobs, party hard! :D

    Thanks tonnes, again! :))
    cheers and much love,


  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

  23. hi its a friendly visit for a friendly blogger in a frienly manner, thus by dropping here from my blog

    Follow my blog if you like it means

  24. Oh...this is actually sad Nil...but also true!
    Nothing hurts as bad as love that was fire once is just a spark moving towards extinguishing!
    Very touching n expressive!:-)

  25. @Maubrey: Haha I hope you drop in many more happy visits like those :)

    @suruchi: I know. You put it SO beautifully!
    And thank you so much, I'm glad you liked this piece :)

  26. acha enough of exams i need a nice blog post now... something about school life about friends about fighting and then being miserable and then making up..all the crushes and the cycling sessions..pls..its been too long i have not read you :)

  27. Your wish is at my service!!!! :) coming up soon!


Pour out your thoughts on mine.... :)