"You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea"
At times,a song is all you need to feel different, distinguished,independent.. So many things,that we carve spellings of in our minds, but realize the feelings a little less than we should.
Was listening to a song called Volcano by Damien Rice.. The funny part is, the song might not leave a message of the feeling you end up with, but nevertheless helps with the tune..The melody.
What I feel now, is like I'm a 15 year old individual, a girl who can take risks and not blame another for it,someone who's strong,capable,and happy. Tad bits of sadness,that just increase the reality of the elated feeling. And all this is a result of the tune,just the tune and harmony of the song. No,not the lyrics, few lines to an extent..Like the one I mentioned in the beginning of the post..
I feel like I'm back to myself a year back. So many things were different. I was so different. I've changed..beyond my own recognition. Some things,changed in me for the best, but to bring out that best,I've had to let go of things I loved about myself. I miss those habits. I miss my carefree-self. I miss not caring a damn about anything,and just doing it. And then smile wildly at myself and go "Yeah!!!" .
I'm still a kid, 15 years is younngg. I know. I still am carefree, I still do things on whims,but I've sobered down. A lot. I'm not reckless. I'm patient in things that I never dreamt off. Some of the best things happened to me in the past year. And no matter how contradicting I sound to myself, but the best things come with a price you pay.
Exactly now, that I'm writing this post, I sound so different and alien to myself when I compare with who I was a year back.
But I guess,only thing that's constant is change.
I miss my old self,but I like myself now,too.
So I guess,I'll walk right ahead. And maybe bring back a bit of my older self, cause abandoning it seems unfair. I'll adventure,again. Break some rules,again, to smile at myself wildly and day "Yeah!!" and never regret it. Cause I think I've forgotten my own philosophy lately.. To break free ;)
You guys, go get some fun and adventure.
Screw office/collage/school for a day. Go have fun, be a stupid kid :)
All my love,