Friday, September 16, 2011

Summer went away, and we just weren't the same.

Summer changes me. Every time. Every summer break that does me the favor of sixty days to myself, to the scotching sun, to the sunburnt back of my neck, to white tee shirts and flannel pants, to friends, and to sitting at home with nothing but a good book and a glass of juice to my liability.
This routine happens, every year and yet, every summer I'm introduced to some magic. To some one. To some place. To myself.

Summer is when I abandon every element of hesitance. It's when I go right ahead and do the biggest mistakes of my life. Mistakes which kiss me and slap me every now and then, and laugh with me when I see myself grow from that particular sunny day when the sun was at its best. When I was walking on the streets wearing flats which seemed to have burnt holes, when the metallic rods of buses seem to burn into my skin, when I fall in love, when I fall out of love, and when I take another plunge into another insanity.
Yes. Summer is insanity.

By the end of the summer, there's one person, one place and one side of me that is stuck to my head. That is surfacing realizations of the same facts in different characters. And  those three epiphanies stay with me until next summer rolls in. And I'm introduced to another person, another place, and another side of me. Yes, summer changes me every time.

I feel happy in summers. Perhaps everything I'm writing right now sounds like a kindergartener writing an essay on what summer means to him, repeating words, nouns,verbs.. But this post is just an honest confession and something simple I wanted to write since 2008...and it's all true. And perhaps, it couldn't be more true for it sounds like a child's words. Cause every summer I realize what a child I am. I fall from stairs, I burn myself while trying to toast bread for the first time for someone special, I make an inseparable friend, I cry for my dog's cuteness, I... I just do things to feel happy. To make people happy. And to just.... live.
So yeah. I am a child. A big, crazy and wild one at that!

But with every passing summer I leave a side of that child behind... It happened last year, happened this year, and is inevitable next year.
But that's what's so amazing. Summer. Dragon flies. And realizing yourself. And your differences from a reflection that now seems younger, with a toothier grin, looking eagerly at someone at the other side of the mirror who looks a little older, mature....and well, just different.

It's true. Summer went away and we just weren't the same.



-Nil.

14 comments:

  1. as always,your posts leave me speechless :)

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  2. Dude, I know that feeling so well. And as usual awesome piccies :)

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  3. @Vanta: haha, so now it's "Baba Vanitshwar"? Too good, I say! :-*
    And damn babe, your comment made my day :)


    @Charu: Hello there! I'm actually surprised to see you here a day before Math, but equally delighted :) Thanks!

    @hAAthi: Thanks Rev! Also, is there any way to 'follow' your website?

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  4. Summer is wearing shorts and flip-flops and playing endless hours of soccer under the sun.

    Nil, I adore those pictures, you're too big a talent!

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  5. OMG! This post has again left me speechless!

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  6. Perhaps, somethings can never be taken back, summers for one, and time too.
    Each summer you continue to grow, though you hold on to your routine of a book and the glass. Despite of that, some part does change.
    You are right, things will never be the same. But it's good, right?


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  7. @Maryam: Hey, thanks!


    @Sam: Couldn't agree more. Sigh. Even the thought!
    And aw thank you love, but the photos aren't mine. They're all courtesy Google! Just compiled'em together :)

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  8. @Sudeshna: haha why you're only too kind. Thank you :)


    @Blasphemous: No matter how much they pinch at times.. but yes, thank god some things will never be the same.. :)

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  9. wow..I never heard someone love summer so...

    and it is best to move on with each summer-towards greater glories!
    each year is a milestone and we moving closer to becoming who we really are!

    and before that becomes a sermon-wonderfully expressed, as always:-)

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  10. Suruchi! Thank you so much. You've always been kind :)

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  11. This makes me want to cry. That;'s how much I can relate to it.
    You write beautifully.

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  12. ..And I guess that's what summer will always mean, to all of us, somewhere, somehow :)
    And Thankyou, you're very kind :)

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Pour out your thoughts on mine.... :)