Shiva on trance.150th.

Playing now: Electro sun.Pure blue.

Hello friends, foreigners, and countrymen. Lend me thy ear? So this happens to be my 150th post on blogger. And hence, I figured this should be a Catch Up post for my BlogAnniversary :)

Oh well, Jan's been a busy month. With the new year, getting used-to writing '2011', a new camera (Y), random shoots, British School's RSSRC Peace Summit,the final show and now coming up- Farewell. (Can't believe it's going to be us,next year :| ) ......and then finally the last set of finals for 11th grade. I'm still trying to figure out just how am I still alive with all the on-goings that haven't let me sit down and breathe, but I guess that's why I'm still sane? Something about being Jobless scares me.

Anyhow. So the track I'm listening to crazy. The beats are absol-uuu-tely sick. Please listen to it if you fancy trance.
Today....was a good day? I mean. It was okay?
Studied some. Got some nice shots of certain frames I had in mind. Managed to make it to the tailor's on time to plead them to get my suit ready by 5th. Had so much of Giani's Belgium Chocolate ice cream that the sight of anything sweet makes me sick. I could do anything to have a huge bowl of Maggi right now. Or hotdogs. Or whatever, just as long as it's not sweet.
Irrelevant, to you at least.

I'd been thinking of changing the look of the blog.. To turn it into something more original and to put up pictures I've clicked and to base the theme on my state of mind....but had also been victimized to procrastination at its best. So today I put my foot down and revamped the whole of it. Tell me how you guys like it? The two pictures as the header are two of my favorite clicks. I hope you like them :)
....and School tomorrow. Bleh. All I do is go and read a novel, thanks to farewell preps,sports day and another godzillion reasons, education in classrooms has lost its meaning. I've hit a BAD writer's block.Which isn't the best thing happening to me right now, cause with too many things going on, I tend to over think stuff and people. And when I can't write and blurt out....err, lets just say I'm not the sanest mind around. I go on a high of over-intellectual existence. Which is when it gets hard for people to relate to me, and worse off- I close in nutshell.
SEE. I'm DOING IT AGAIN.

(Now playing: Sundance)

Anyway. So after finals, I hope to take a H-U-G-E getaway before 12th grade starts from Delhi. Hopefully to some place like Calcutta (NO, not cause all Bongs love the city) where I have the right people to catch up with, party, relax,write, photograph and basically just forget everything about Delhi. Not that I don't like this place.. I do. But I guess, after a point of time, you do need a runaway to some place else.

I need to watch Dhobi Ghat. I've heard the extremest of reviews. I'm not judging.. I'm gonna wait till I exit the theatre.
I also need to start studying like a nerd. Finals in less than a month :|

So anyhow. I guess that's all for my 150th post. Thanks you guys, for being thee best readers, so many more zillion posts to come ;)
Update me with how's the sky color at your end, yes?

While I dance a little faster with the city beats and just try a little harder to be graceful at the same time ha ;)
(now playing: lazarus, Porcupine Tree)

-Nil :)



The rainbowed cacophony of voices.

Has it ever happened to you that you hear a million voices together irrespective, of silence or noise around you? Have they ever all found roots from your neurons mocking the various emotions, thoughts, and people playing a penny for a thought inside your mind? The trivial elements of a room seem to remind you of something absolutely vague, and out of the box. It might have been inspiration, had a dull mood not graced it with its mocking smile. Even the absence of people seem to be only an omnipresent reminder in the subconscious Galaxy of your mind. Owning a mind of your own seems catastrophic, and the happy mind of an infant only makes you envious. The roads you walk on seem to zero out the one way you're concentrating on, with the honks and people morphing into a parallel world that play games with your mind. You attempt to mind read, and you have five different stories about a single face- and then you fall into the trap of hours of deduction that runs in pace to reality.
The three different tabs of networking sites/social sites opened on your computer screen seem to be three sides of the same story- You. Each an every photograph you're frozen in captures a mood that'll cause deja-vu at some point without you realizing the cause or the origin of the moment.
The group of friends you met today make you think twice about your wavelength and question your choice of intellect and character. All this is happening while you're sharing a bottle of coke together,  laughing at the same time over the funny puns that you find almost too lame to exist when you think, later.
And every time you hold your pen and start with the first alphabet in the fanciest handwriting, you stop dead. For the mixed emotions and the rain bowed cacophony of voices inside you- each, has a story that's waiting and fighting to be told and pushing you over the edge to pick them. But your hands are left frozen and your mind paralyzed- trapped again in the ocean of opinions, with yours being only a drop in the whole sea.

-Nil.

Anger.

Dear Anger,
I've been acquainted to you since a while.. however, tonight seems to be different. Tonight, you seem to be feasting. Feasting on a splinter that was much carefully preserved and tucked away into a deep corner of a silent soul that preferred not to step out of me. Tonight, I feel a screech morph into a loud wale. A wale of disgust, frustration and pure unadulterated anger.
You've never really challenged my temper as such, except once perhaps. Why are you so adamant to provoke me tonight? I've tied my tongue to chains just tonight.. so it doesn't cause irreparable damage. Damage that'll distort the vision of my blood shot eyes and I will no longer have control over my senses which'll be over powered by blood lust.
I'm taming my mind to behave and remember the pleasant, the happy, the beautiful. You- however, seem to be only pushing me,pushing me as hard as you can over the edge from which there isn't a climb back, once I fall.
Don't provoke me. This silent anger in me is dangerous. It's more dangerous for I don't need muscles to tear apart the world I've made around me, the people,the relationships. My silence will kill, don't provoke me, my dear Anger.
For you're wasting me, and you don't want me to retort with something that might destroy you brutally.

-Yours faithfully,
a broken smile.

(P.S- this was saved as a draft on my account for a looong time. I thought I'd publish it anyway. Feedbacks are welcome, as always)
-Nil.

Facebook bhi ek kala hai.

Morning there, winter-struck people,
How's January coming along? I have officially declared this world to not be alive anymore because when I step out on the road, the sight depresses me. Every body's gift wrapped in layers of morbid wool and the grumpy looks are only complimentary. The chilly wind (as people claim) makes you want to dig in deep to the core of the earth and burn in the heat if that were an option. Frankly, I don't get it. I don't tend to feel very cold usually, even in this month of Jan, a tee shirt and a thin cotton jacket keeps me good. You'd obviously think I'm a lunatic if I tell you that I'd rather roam around in a tee shirt sans the jacket, so I'm going to skip elaborating or justifying that.

I'm also officially sleep deprived. My cousin's come home, so we were up last night watching movies and FRIENDS bloopers on Youtube till early morn. And by the time I fell asleep, it was time for the normal world to start functioning. Which sucked. Anyhow, I also went to school today to work on this International Peace summit that I, Remya and a couple more of our friends are going to, this Jan. It's a pretty big scene with 65 country's round-square regional schools participating.. but I shall elaborate on that when I'm in a better mood. Not that I'm not in one or anything, just a little.. annoyed with the cold. And sleepy. And I have Math to do. So that's not really the prettiest combination, which you don't have to be Aryabhatta to figure out. Actually he's the wrong guy to be named.. that bugger would have probably been the kinds to scream "Eureka!" while shitting and figuring out complex math sums for which he receives very colorful vocabs by kids stuck with Math till date.

Anyhow, I'm in a mood for some nice Euro trance, hot chocolate .........and maybe, just MAYBE that might inspire me to bother with the 11th grade NCERT math book.

Abuses to winter,
Nil.

Passing thoughts and epiphanies.

Something I wrote on New year's night :

"As I see all those sky shooters shoot high up into what we liked to believe heaven was, the tiny motes of fire fly as high as their fate willed, burned with all its might and ferocity, tried to yell out to the world- stark naked of what lay dormant in them, and after the few seconds of lumiere, faded away and died prey to the domineering winds that blew its flame away into nothingness that once burned in the iris of a man standing arrogantly on the face of the earth, taking for granted that the fire will never die out to ashes and that time will always hang in the glamour of light.... on the surface"

Also, my blogger friend Fai has this thing on her blog called "Let it out Monday" where her readers can send her a letter on anything at all, and she'd publish it on a Monday. It can be named or anonymous. So I sent her a letter too, and I want you guys to read it and tell me what you think about it. Here goes! :-----

Dear Photograph,

you remind me of so much. So much that I might have forgotten coping with the cobwebs of city life, of other dreams that I'm chasing after, of broken chains that were meant to be only stronger with time, of myself. 

The delicate black and white of your skin holds my tiny finger like one of a baby's and leads me into a moment of my life that was frozen into mere parchement, that frozen moment was perhaps a mere second out of the scroll long years of my life, however that one frozen smile, tear, round eyes, freckle, frown tells and teaches me so much of who I am, what I might become or might have been.

When your skin smiled of warm colors- I could only feel the warmth of the sun again, the sounds of the honks nearby, the scream of the roadside wender, the bark of the angry dog, the whistle of the ticket collcetor... you take me back to yet another day of reality that makes me feel so alive and present again.

You have always had the strength to reduce me to my knees and pray again, pray for what only seemed like yesterday to come back. Pray for those people who've somehow let go or the ones who have held on so tight.. You have had the strength to show me the past as it was, without being biased or emotional.. as ironical as it sounds :)

May you capture me, many more of the sides that prevail and the ones that are hiding in somewhere, waiting for the time to step out.

For you let me make memories, and that is something that only completes the mosaic of my life with everything right, wrong, perfect and imperfect.

For you are a frozen me, that can never disappear and will live on forever, as simply as one can ever ask for.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Awaiting feedbacks!

Nil.