Awaiting your feedback,
Enjoy! :)
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That Silent beauty.
Our place to hangout was Jama Masjid. We both used to be in school, I- a year older to her. We were never really the girlfriend/boyfriend material. We were too busy with enjoying what we were as individuals, yet- together. We were too busy looking around at what the world has to offer and grabbing in everything with a little bit of this and a little bit of that falling out from the seams of our fingers. Yet we managed to grasp most of it, with beads of sweat on our foreheads but a wide grin of contentment on our faces.
She was the kind who'd punch you right on the face- "no nonsense." was her motto. Dressing up was something she didn't be live in, "why the f***? so that, that perv there smoking up can have a Joly time looking at my legs?" -was what she said jokingly. But I knew she just didn't care a damn enough to bother. Though her eyes were always boarded carelessly with kohl, yet they looked so perfect that even I used to get overwhelmed by that quiet beauty hidden behind the shades and tee shirts.
I- on the other hand was someone who'd prefer a plain white roll-up shirt to a backstreet boys tee shirt. A simple Bermuda underneath instead of baggy cargos.
And yes, we both had a camera. For sure.
Money was never an issue for us- cause we never had any! It used to take us about 30 rupees to get to old Delhi by bus, and about 15 rupees to get to CP. That's all we needed. We weren't hungry people. Our parents were bloody well off, but we sort of liked it that way. You know? Scrape it up, scrap by scrap.
It taught us something, in some way. And more than anything- it was fun to be beggars and teenagers at the same time. Yes, you can call us mad.
But at the end of the day, we both went home smelling the high of heaven..
It was one of those days of summer. She and I were clicking around the shops of Jama Masjid, when we both hit a shop with burkhas and cheap accessories. She usually never got very excited at the sight of these, however an odd day out that day- she did.
"Dude I've never tried a burkha.. I wonder if----" ; and she walked off saying something only she could hear leaving me behind,smiling- as always.
She hopped to the shop, and started asking the guy to show her colorful burkhas, and the jeweled ones. While she tried one out, speaking to this other lady standing next to her- all excited, I realized something. When I looked at her, wearing that burkha, I realized something more.
She was not a girl anymore, she was a woman. That chubby smile on her face wasn't just baby fat-as what I called it, it was a smile of a maturing flower. I could see the difference, that I didn't notice for so long as I was too convinced she was going to be 17 forever.
What I realized more was, the reason. The reason she always joked about.
She didn't need to dress up to look pretty. It was moments like these which brought out that silent beauty that giggles inside every girl's heart, knowing that it'll leave everyone staring once it tip toes out.
It left me staring, for sure.
Well written would be an understand. This is AMAZING! :)
ReplyDeleteA very different kind of a fiction. I love it.
ReplyDeleteYou're getting better by the day! This one is short and sweet, and gets the message across. Great story, great idea. Keep up the good work!
@Shiivv: Awww! Babe,I love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
@TBG: I'm glad you found it different. I like different :P
And I'm gladder that you liked it! :D
Thank you so so much! It means a LOT to me :)
<3
I don't know why, but I've been coming across fiction like this a lot recently.....the whole islam burkha thing is a bit cliched....It's being used everywhere and anywhere.
ReplyDeleteWell written nevertheless, for the rest of my honest critique, check your facebook inbox...later on. I rather not post them here and start a public debate.
yaay; :)
Hmmm. I see,I see. okay, I shall be waiting for your full critique on fb.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you :)
And what's with the "Yaay"? :S
Nothing i just wanted to end on a happy note and keep you from feeling trashed xD lol
ReplyDeleteI'm coming over tomorrow btw.
You're crazyy.
ReplyDeletehah,sure. Show up first,then I'll believe you :P
This is truly amazing :) You are one heck of a talent girl :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm....I think it has that mystery, that slight hold-your-breath-even- when-it's-over kind of touch. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteNice anyhow :)
@Scribbling Girl: Aww thank you so much! You are too kind :)
ReplyDelete@Charu: Hahah! I get you! :P Thank you so much darling :)
it was so different you know..not the usual "she felt torn apart" and his " feets froze" kinda fiction...fresh and new...it almost mad eme say..ab kya..aagey kya?/
ReplyDeletevery well written pretty one!!
Oh good! I'm glad you liked it babe! :)
ReplyDeleteWrote fiction after quite a while...
Thankyou!
<3 lovveee.
it's because i never know when people update. blogger doesn't notify me and my blog roll is on random. but yes, luv, here i am!
ReplyDeletelovely post. my favorite line was:
"It was moments like these which brought out that silent beauty that giggles inside every girl's heart"
you are great! and i like the new look of the blog, including that ring in your header. :)
http://cherylclarke.blogspot.com
Cherryyyll! <3
ReplyDeleteoh heyy damn that sucks! but nvm, you're here now :]
Aw thanks babe, Im sooo glad you liked this. Haha thats my favourite line too :)
Yeah you liked it? Good :)
I finally foun something I liked tonnes,too.
The picture was something soo random my friend clicked! :P
haha thanks! :)
Hi Nil...
ReplyDeleteShort n so sweet...
Almost romantic n yet...oh I am not getting the word now!
A great post is all I have left to say!
You excel at fiction young lady:-)
Suruchiiiiiiiiiii!
ReplyDeleteYou make my day!
Thank you so so so much :) I hope I keep up to your expectations all the time.
How come you can't like blog posts! Wish I could! This is NICE!
ReplyDeleteAwwh haha thanks retarded brother! ;)
ReplyDelete