Dear mom and dad,
Hi. It's 12:45am and I'm blogging, and you hate that. You hate the fact that I'm always up so late, working on something or the other glued to the laptop and earphones stuck to my ears. You dislike the fact that I'm so tech-savy. You dislike the fact that I text so much and am on the phone pretty often. You don't like it when I read novels till 3am in the morning, you disagree strongly with my sleeping cycle. You don't think I get enough sleep. You think I'm exploiting the limits to which my body and mind can take "it".
And I agree. I am. But hey mom, I'm 16. That's how every teenager grows up. That's how your daughter will grow up. And I know somewhere behind all the shouting and the protests, you're okay with that. You know it's natural.
Over the past few years, there's been so many transitions in me. The metamorphosis isn't over yet, and it shall continue for a while. And perhaps you're more aware of that fact than me.
I'm in this phase where I feel like this tiny ant staring out to the world with dazed eyes. Extremely excited about what awaits me, and etremely scared at what I might have to go through in the journey of reaching my goals, as well. I'm discovering places, people, emotions, paths, ideas that are new to me and become old by the clock ticking by in seconds. I'm extremely sorted and confused at the same time. I make mistakes. SO many of them in a single day.. and to be quite honest, I enjoy making them. For I have the liberty to, everybody does. That's how we learn the same lesson every time, only in different ways. I heard that thought from a dear friend of mine, and it really did leave an impact. I will keep making mistakes, and I'll keep learning, and forgetting, and learning again.
All I'm saying is, trust me. Trust your daughter with her decisions, she won't let you down :)
I'm a happy person. I know I have the saddest face when I'm off, I know even more that it upsets you both more than anyone even if you don't show it all the time. But I need you to know that I'm content and satisfied with the person I am and with the person you have made me. Sure, I struggle to be something better everyday, and that fight will go on till the very last day of my life (god I'm just 16) ... but don't worry about how I feel about myself. You both have taught me to rely on emotions and rationality- both. You have taught me love. And perhaps that is why, I have a strong faith. A faith which is not about idols, gods or goddesses. . but about the fact that good things happen to good people. Sure, life can be unfair at times. But that's alright. What's life without a pinch of salt and sadness? We'd never learn to truly appreciate happiness then :)
Mom...... you're the most amazing lady I've ever come across. The amount of strength your hands and heart hold, perhaps an army full of soldiers wouldn't be enough to substitute that. You've been just the right balance of strictness and easy-going. I might not tell you all of this when we fight, but it's important for you to know that I couldn't go a day without you. Even as I write this, I swear my eyes are moist and there's a weird lump in my throat. Your girl has always been the sentimental kinds, you can't blame her. She's seen so much of love and felt so much warmth. She's bound to be over whelmed!
Dad.. you're my hero :) I mean it. Perhaps if I could even be a quarter of the kind of person you are, I'd be the happiest person on Earth. It doesn't matter how young I was or how old you grow, you'd always be the strongest man I'd have ever come across. Your humanity and immodesty of the zillion achievements leave me in awe.. I look upto you so much, baba. I just really hope I can make you proud some day.
I respect the both of you with all my heart. I could never love anyone more. For all those years of childhood and all these years of difficult teens, I could never thank you enough for being there for me, always, rock solid. I could never equal up to the kind of living legends you are to my eyes, and I only hope to be like the two of you to my kid.
Mom, I know you hate the fact that I don't take care of my skin. That I look so wild all the time. So unruly. So casual. "Such a boy" -- as you put it. But your daughter is growing up, and she'll learn all of it. And I know you know that better than me.
And dad, I'll try to give in more hours to math okay! .. That's a very tiny request compared to all the kilos of requests you've fulfilled for me :)
I want you both to know that I'm a better person cause of the two of you. I'm writing this letter tonight because I feel it was important for me to let you both know a few facts and figures about your kid ;)
Cause I know you guys are anxious and worried about me growing up, just like me :)
Don't worry. I'm on my own, with your shadows never being out of sight. And that's going to keep me going to places we all hope for. I love you both, and I could never thank you enough for the unconditional support you both have given me- be it writing, dancing, studies, or whatever. You've been there, and the best part is, you've never disliked me making mistakes. You've just always taught me to be careful the next time and learn well the lessons that every mistake taught.
Maybe that is why, I'm bold enough to stand up for myself, shout a different opinion, and hope to make a difference.
For hope is what keeps us going. :)
I should go now. I promise I'll do only five.. okay ten more minutes of Facebook, and then go to sleep :)
Goodnight mom and dad,
see you tomorrow when you two try to drag me out of bed for school :)
-Your only and only crazy daughter.