Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Dear mom and dad

Dear mom and dad,
Hi. It's 12:45am and I'm blogging, and you hate that. You hate the fact that I'm always up so late, working on something or the other glued to the laptop and earphones stuck to my ears. You dislike the fact that I'm so tech-savy. You dislike the fact that I text so much and am on the phone pretty often. You don't like it when I read novels till 3am in the morning, you disagree strongly with my sleeping cycle. You don't think I get enough sleep. You think I'm exploiting the limits to which my body and mind can take "it". 
And I agree. I am. But hey mom, I'm 16. That's how every teenager grows up. That's how your daughter will grow up. And I know somewhere behind all the shouting and the protests, you're okay with that. You know it's natural. 

Over the past few years, there's been so many transitions in me. The metamorphosis isn't over yet, and it shall continue for a while. And perhaps you're more aware of that fact than me. 
I'm in this phase where I feel like this tiny ant staring out to the world with dazed eyes. Extremely excited about what awaits me, and etremely scared at what I might have to go through in the journey of reaching my goals, as well.  I'm discovering places, people, emotions, paths, ideas that are new to me and become old by the clock ticking by in seconds. I'm extremely sorted and confused at the same time. I make mistakes. SO many of them in a single day.. and to be quite honest, I enjoy making them. For I have the liberty to, everybody does. That's how we learn the same lesson every time, only in different ways. I heard that thought from a dear friend of mine, and it really did leave an impact. I will keep making mistakes, and I'll keep learning, and forgetting, and learning again.
All I'm saying is, trust me. Trust your daughter with her decisions, she won't let you down :) 

I'm a happy person. I know I have the saddest face when I'm off, I know even more that it upsets you both more than anyone even if you don't show it all the time. But I need you to know that I'm content and satisfied with the person I am and with the person you have made me. Sure, I struggle to be something better everyday, and that fight will go on till the very last day of my life (god I'm just 16) ... but don't worry about how I feel about myself. You both have taught me to rely on emotions and rationality- both. You have taught me love. And perhaps that is why, I have a strong faith. A faith which is not about idols, gods or goddesses. . but about the fact that good things happen to good people. Sure, life can be unfair at times. But that's alright. What's life without a pinch of salt and sadness? We'd never learn to truly appreciate happiness then :) 

Mom...... you're the most amazing lady I've ever come across. The amount of strength your hands and heart hold, perhaps an army full of soldiers wouldn't be enough to substitute that. You've been just the right balance of strictness and easy-going. I might not tell you all of this when we fight, but it's important for you to know that I couldn't go a day without you. Even as I write this, I swear my eyes are moist and there's a weird lump in my throat. Your girl has always been the sentimental kinds, you can't blame her. She's seen so much of love and felt so much warmth. She's bound to be over whelmed! 

Dad.. you're my hero :)  I mean it. Perhaps if I could even be a quarter of the kind of person you are, I'd be the happiest person on Earth. It doesn't matter how young I was or how old you grow, you'd always be the strongest man I'd have ever come across. Your humanity and immodesty of the zillion achievements leave me in awe.. I look upto you so much, baba. I just really hope I can make you proud some day.

I respect the both of you with all my heart. I could never love anyone more. For all those years of childhood and all these years of difficult teens, I could never thank you enough for being there for me, always, rock solid. I could never equal up to the kind of living legends you are to my eyes, and I only hope to be like the two of you to my kid. 

Mom, I know you hate the fact that I don't take care of my skin. That I look so wild all the time. So unruly. So casual. "Such a boy" -- as you put it. But your daughter is growing up, and she'll learn all of it. And I know you know that better than me.
And dad, I'll try to give in more hours to math okay! .. That's a very tiny request compared to all the kilos of requests you've fulfilled for me :) 

I want you both to know that I'm a better person cause of the two of you. I'm writing this letter tonight because I feel it was important for me to let you both know a few facts and figures about your kid ;) 
Cause I know you guys are anxious and worried about me growing up, just like me :) 

Don't worry. I'm on my own, with your shadows never being out of sight. And that's going to keep me going to places we all hope for. I love you both, and I could never thank you enough for the unconditional support you both have given me- be it writing, dancing, studies, or whatever. You've been there, and the best part is, you've never disliked me making mistakes. You've just always taught me to be careful the next time and learn well the lessons that every mistake taught.
Maybe that is why, I'm bold enough to stand up for myself, shout a different opinion, and hope to make a difference. 
For hope is what keeps us going. :) 

I should go now. I promise I'll do only five.. okay ten more minutes of Facebook, and then go to sleep :)
Goodnight mom and dad,
see you tomorrow when you two try to drag me out of bed for school :) 

-Your only and only crazy daughter.


  1. Don't know what to say .......
    DARUN !!! hoyechey ...... had to read it more than once ......
    make sure you parents read it too .....


  2. No doubts that you will make your parents Proud !!!!
    Keep it up !!!

  3. :)
    iv been there, and so i identify with every word. all the confusion, the angst, the ifs and buts, the treading slowly, the little lessons, the big mistakes, the unending love from ones parents, the feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by the world..all i can say is, i think youre on the right track and without any of that, life would be dull! so thank your stars for all these experiences.

    i hope your mom and dad end up reading this :) its lovely.

  4. I love how honest this letter is, how you've poured your heart and soul into writing it. I just want my parents to read this too. It's probably all I want to say to them right now.

    We're 16, nil. And we're bound to make so many mistakes, lose out on so many people and meet new ones... Sigh. It's going to be one hell of a life!

  5. Such a sweet and straight from heart letter.:) Your mom and dad will definitely will be proud today to see their kid writing matured and honest words. Keep it up dear Nil..

  6. @didi: Aww thank you so much! Sent a copy to dad, yeah I sort of wanted them to read it too :-)

  7. @hAAthi: Oh trust me.. I do thank my stars. Whats life without all of that'eh! I hope so too :-)

    @Shiv: EXACTLY! "it's going to be one hell of a life!"
    and thanks babe :*

  8. @Banu: awwww thanks lady! I sure do hope so too! :-)
    much much love

  9. Im speechless, I wonder wat will be the reaction of ur parents when they actually read it. but honestly DAROOOON likhechish.

  10. I'm waiting to see the same. And Thaaaanks pots! :-)

  11. I dont know what to say, exactly, but I guess the fact that it strucj a chord and made me nod, laugh and tear up at the same time should be enough. :)

  12. awwww lil tithi's growing up :')

    sniff sniff. We're all soo proud.!

  13. you know someday when they read this..they will be smiling, feeling proud, having moist teary eyes and thanking God !!

    All at once !

  14. Nice. What were your parents reaction?

  15. Thank you so much, guys.
    And Awwwww Dipin! =)

    And about their reactions.....well lets just say some things are better off in the silence.. but known and understood ... ;)

  16. your way of writing conceals your age. it feels as if an older much mature woman is talking. 16? unbelievable. am talking about all ur posts, not this one in particular. keep up the work.

  17. I feel u should make ur parent read it...they will be so proud to have a daughter like u :)

  18. @Yugandhar: Hi, welcome to my blog :) Thank you so much for all your generous appreciations, indeed encouraged me a great deal! I'm so very glad you liked my work and sure do hope you stop by more often.
    -Cheers :-)

    @Scribbling Girl: Awww thanks love! and yeah I did make them read it :)

  19. jethu-jethi porechhe??? m sure they loved it

  20. how beautiful! i hope you let them read this because i would love to read it if i were a mom.


  21. I see signs of great confidence, righteousness and stability in you. At your age, it takes a mature attitude to appreciate your parents. Having great parents raises your standards for all other relationships you might have outside home. And while it may be difficult to find people that match such standards, it's only fortunate that it is so. There's a long way to go; make the right choices and before that, figure what, for you, is "right" :) And never stop questioning yourself.
    I don't mean to patronize you. It's just that your writing makes the reader feel close to you.

  22. Another beautiful post. And it goes without saying that your parents must be very proud of you. And like all the previous commenters said, it really seems to come straight from the heart. I'm sure you'll be able to live up to their hopes someday. Congrats for putting into words what many, many 16 year olds think and feel, besaides making it so beautiful.

  23. I loved LOVED this post/letter. Its so relate-able. Literally everything I have ever wanted to tell my parents is riiighht here.

    Your posts make me crack up and then get me all fuzzy and sentimental!


Pour out your thoughts on mine.... :)