To my darling Queen.

My darling Queen, before anything- A very very Happy Birthday to you.
It's been quite a while, I've seen your world through Queendom. And frankly, you amaze me by your immense talent of disguising real life into a topsy turvy tale of fantasy. It amazes me at how easy it is, to relate real life to that of a story book when I read your blog.
It's been a joy ride knowing you. And indeed you're one of those women who will never surrender to fate and hold the chains of life tightly in your diamond adorned hands and keep your crown in place ;)

To your Birthday challenge, this is not only an entry, but an honest thought that touched my heart everytime I think about your personality.
You truly are a Queen, Anuja.
And you always will be :)

-Yours' and only yours,
Nightingale.

In the sea of faces..

I know I'd never forget him. It's not his friendship. It's not the way he talks. It isn't his music. It isn't his anger. Or love.

It's that factor he held in him to make me look back twice. For me to trust him, if not anyone when things were bad. 
He knew the way out, or the way to forget. 
He couldn't figure himself out, but he could figure me out. 
He couldn't figure his own scattered life, but he fixed mine into a mosaic of colors. 

Gigs with him were like a night of a new life altogether. When he screamed his passion, I felt the music harder. When he closed his eyes to touch the notes of the bass, I'd find peace in the distorted note being played by the guitarist.
At times, he would lose himself and surrender his conscious to the even flow of melody, and when he'd open his eyes, I'd see moisture in them. And I'd then see him swallowing that lump that formed in his throat. It wasn't just the music, it was her- he remembered. It didn't matter if we were listening to Metallica, or Indian Ocean. It didn't matter if what the speakers produced was Sufi music or Lamb of god.
He knew music too well, and he knew her- a little better.
So everytime those eyes closed, and opened, I saw those strangled feelings and memories that weren't even allowed to cry.. They were just allowed to leave a glisten of moisture- suggesting they were there,that they  were still killing him inside, and that they'd be back again. 


His strength to over power her image and return to consciousness gave me the inspiration to love music and the strength to let it over rule me for a while, and give me my chains back again.
His strength to keep his love hidden for her, gave me the will to slowly pick up the distorted pieces of my life and learn to bear pain and move on with everything around.

She never knew the insane and unconditional love his heart and mind held for her. His mind was beautiful. It portrayed her to be an ocean of white, with a little tinge of red vermilion in the center. His mind sketched her a beauty, a creation of god, in it's true sense. 
She felt for him,too. But alas, not everybody has the power and heart to look away when they say "Rumor has it......". And like those countless lovers who wanted to find destiny in each other's eyes,once again, She- another ordinary girl fell into the shallow institution of lies, stories and..... distrust and doubt. 
She left him.

As I look at him,now, today being one of those rare evening gigs, when a drop of sadness slips from the corners of his eyes,I close my eyes for I didn't want the moisture in my eyes to meet those eyes searching love in the sea of faces, trying hard and harder to just find a single pair of eyes, a single face.. An only ... Her. 


But that never takes away,from the canvas of my mind, what my eyes saw and his closed eyes showed..

Time. And it's rendevous.

Now playing- Layla, Eric Clapton.

After listening to this song, again after about a year, I figured how much I missed it. And I found a completely different newfound energy rushing its way through me, that ditto feeling I had when I heard it a year back. Some things never change :)
It's almost like I can see the person I used to be a year back when I hear this song, I wasn't anything drastically different, but I can see there were things missing then, which are nicely and accurately placed into my canvas of life, today.

The song made me happy. It made me celebrate. It made me sing. It made me find a friend. What more can I say? :)

Time travels pretty much at the speed of light..We travel faster, hence we never quite realize its speed :) When I saw this old oldddd album in a friend's Facebook profile today, I almost laughed at those good times, they truly were good good times!  I was euphoric when I realized that over time, I met people, I changed, the world around me changed, and yet at those moments when fate twists it, we sit in a rendevouz with it, we can clearly see what we left behind, yet- they complete our existance,and were somehow never actually left behind.

So many people were strangers, two years back- Now, they're friends - maybe closer :)
So many were trusted friends, two years back- Now, they're strangers- maybe worse.
So many places were unknown and foreign, back then- Now, they're almost home :)
So many places were home back then- Now, they're foreign.

Today seems to be a rendevouz. And I'm having a good time remembering those times and moments, when life seemed oh so perfect -that make life truly imperfect,today- And I'm happy :)

For old time's sake,
a rememberence,a picture- of a time that still is one of the bests of my lfe ;)

- Much much love and memories,
Nilanjana.
:)

Monsoons.

After a long long time, I smiled the moment I stepped out of my place in the evening. The weather almost seemed to be laughing with nice cool winds blowing here and there. The sky seemed to be in a blanket of a silvery of clouds shading the earth beneath it. And making people realize that monsoons are on it's way.

Hi guys, I know I know it's been ages and centuries since I last updated.  But I haven't really had the time. School's a rush with competitions and friends. I like it tonnes! Like, it's almost like I'm finally doing what I wanted to. My teachers for his grade are pretty good.. And well, I like my class :)

So back to where I was, MONSOONS  are coming! If you don't know already, they're my favorite part of the year. As cliched as it sounds, I'm crazy about the rains! The downpour and the sounds of the pitter-patter on the window.. Everything gets lush green, and there's a different smell of freshness all over the city! And  I see kids wearing raincoats in the morning looking all excited, dirtying their newly polished shoes in the crack of the day. The wide smiles that those lil kindergarten kids give with their tiny selves all wet, their hair sitting flatly on their foreheads and their eyes expressing awe and wonder on an apparent phenomenon that "he up there" did. And that very faith makes them shut their eyes tightly at night with folded hands praying hard for all the oh so important things around them :
"Please keep mommy and daddy happy"
"Please please please make mommy buy me the red car that the thin boy in my class has"
"Please god, tell mommy not to make me eat broccoli in the morning :( " 
"God please keep everybody happy and oooh I want a pink barbie dress for Christmas! Tell Santa please okay god?! Good night God :) "

This faith ^ is monsoons.. The fact that after a dry, drab time of sweat, the sun, the heat, or the sheet of winters... The heaven right up above the zenith shall give us our little play time  in between the on going classes of Life. 

And during this play time, we forget our wrinkles, our medicines, our home work, our PPT  presentations....... And dance around in this game of faith, blessing each drop making it's way from the clouds and kissing us smiles and happiness.. 
:)

Happy On-the-way-Monsoons, all of you guys!

- Much love,

Nil.