Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Where do you go when you're lonely?

Do you walk on that one street with restaurants on the right, glowing a gorgeous warm yellow and buzzing with the clutter clatter of cutlery? 
Do you feel a little comforted when you see people from those big glass windows dining and toasting to company? 
Do you quickly hold on to the cap on your head, feeling the warmth of the wool and wait for it to breathe out cold air, just like you? Or do you blow out that very cold air into the chilly evening and pretend for it to be smoke, just so you're not alone, just so your mouth is in touch with something, if not words. 

Or do you switch on that old sitcom while it starts snowing outside and you're too scared to look at the white outside, to remember last winter..  
I've noticed how you never put out the Christmas cards on she shelf anymore. Don't they make you feel more at home? Don't they remind you of home

Where do you go when you're lonely? 
I've seen you get nervous even when your shadow follows.  
Do you go to the town's carnival, buy yourself cotton candy and eat it while your eyes descend to London's big eye and the time you took a tourist friend on it? Or the one time you had your first kiss in one of the cabins in it? 
Do you remember your old high school corridor? You never felt lonely when you walked on it, did you. 
More so, because you were too busy driving away her blues every morning. 
You often wonder about her.. She still wishes you went to college together, in the same city. Even though it's been so many years to those times.. But  yes, you both still do think of each other. You hope so.. 

I've seen you walk into one of the big games with a single ticket too, at times. I've seen you keep quiet while the whole stadium went wild. 
I've seen you sitting in movie theaters, half listening to the dialogues and half smiling over youthful shenanigans in the theaters back home, with her

Doesn't everything about this new city remind you of those times? 
Every street is different from the ones back home, and yet you can see the same things happen at every corner, at every cafe, every colorful door on the white walls. 
She loved colors, didn't she? She also loved long walks... long walks, with you.  

So where do you go when you're lonely?
Somewhere.. where you hope she follows you?
Haven't you both... just been following each other all this while, sweetheart?  
______________________________________________________________________________

The inspiration to this post :

So yeah, I promised some fiction... Sorry about the abstractness of this piece but aah well, Rem sent me this version of When Stars Go Blue, and I just wrote ahead with a smile. It's alright if you felt a little lost... This post was a little cuckoo in the head, and even more in the heart :) Much loving, Nil. 

28 comments:

  1. "Haven't you both... just been following each other all this while, sweetheart?"

    You ARE one talented piece of shit.

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    1. Daftuar meri zaaaaaaan. Tew maach witty cuteness yoo aar =*
      eye lubz joo.

      Delete
  2. Twas nice.

    And how many times, did you update the post? I have four feeds whose topic is : Where do you go when you're lonely? . I mean, I opened the first one and it said, The post is not available. Similar for the rest 2, until I finally came to this one. I even wrote half an email, but thought of checking this again.
    #JustAsking
    Am I crazy? Yeah, I am.

    And my answer to your topic despite the content would be that : I am alone most of the times and there are a lot of places - like a beach, a bench on the park , or just listening to songs reading a novel at the same time. And you know, it feels good, really good. But I don't want you to try it out. Its dangerous staying alone, you know.
    Well, thats' what crazy people do - stay alone.

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    1. Hello, you. Thank you!

      Yes about that, blogger went a little crazy. It kept publishing this post in the wrong format, really clogged up. So yep, had to fix that, thrice!

      Secondly, I think we all like to be alone at some point. Space is good, space is brilliant.
      But I beg to differ, I don't think crazy people always stay alone. There's a reason why they're called crazy, it's cause they're a little different while in a group.

      And honestly, I think crazy's good :)

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    2. Happens sometimes with me too. :/

      I didn't say otherwise about the crazy people staying alone. I was referring to myself over there.
      Yeah, I know - Crazy's good. I am the Example. :D

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    3. Haha good for youuuu :))

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  3. You know very well you're a bit too great with words, don't you?

    Yes, I did get lost. I did.

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    1. You're always too kind, aren't you?

      Aah, no worries.

      Delete
  4. Awesome word play .... quite an amazing writer you are ... am glad that i follow your blog :-)

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  5. The cuckoo in your head chirped all the way through. What a delightful read. Somehow this made me feel of that guy from home alone, the scary one with the beard who'd lost his family and would roam around aimlessly. And always add a little London to the story and I'm a happy girl!

    I've seen you sitting in movie theaters, half listening to the dialogues and half smiling over youthful shenanigans in the theaters back home, with her. -Makes me smile this part.

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    1. Haha, chirpy is good!
      Thanks Sammaayyy. Bring in some fiction in your space, yo. Haven't read in so long!

      Made you smile eh? Author be delighted :)

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  6. My heart went on doing this weird kind of thump thump as I read this....

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  7. u promised a fiction and gave a fantasy..thats sumthing!! always believed there are not cities but one city..the city...which has the breeze of bandstand of mumbai...abandonment of CP middle circle...shadiness of park street bylanes...cramped as brigade road of bangalore and cacophonous as egmore of chennai...and every city is a bit of that 'the city'...the city of ur fantasy!

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    1. Aww thank you so much!
      Aren't cities always fantasies? I think their realities are a little overrated, eh :)

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  8. One beautiful piece, Nilanjana!
    Reminded me of sooooooooo many things.

    When the stars go, BLUEE....

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    1. Wooohooo! You been around here quite alot, me likes Monx :-*

      Thanks, love :)

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    2. Yes. I be here all the time. I stalk you and Vanita. =)

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    3. Pretty darn good to know. =D

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  9. ohh yaar beautiful play with words!!! heyy how many times you update the post? i saw it many times and when i check it i just got a message that this page doesn't exist... but yaar luvd dis post :) & wot about fiction!!! waiting for that :)

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    1. Haha yeah, there was some issue with the way blogger was publishing my post; the format. So I had to fix it multiple times..
      Thank you so much, Anjali :)

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  10. A little anecdote from someone else's life can cause an avalanche of memories, sweet and sour, both smiled at now with equal fondness, and an ache in the heart. Oh how I wish, had it been so. Wishful thinking, it makes fine fiction, does it not, Nil?

    :D

    Beautiful post!

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    1. You caught me on that question, Blasphemous.. Yes, wishful thinking does indeed make fine fiction.. :)

      Thank you!

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Pour out your thoughts on mine.... :)