Sunday, March 11, 2012

LOVE that makes me LOL.

This is going to be one hell of an abrupt post and I tried delaying it being typed for as long as I could. But there's a particular thought that's been skirting around my mind for about a year now, and lately it's been rather persistent.
I'm not in a relationship. I'm happily single and have been a little too edgy about space issues since a while. So consider this an innocent question from a curious mind, and nothing else.

The world is full of people who are in relationships/commitments. Most of them claim to be in love and seem to quite enjoy everything there is to the mush, the concerns, the fights, their differences and similarities. Which is all fantastic, works and looks absolutely purrrfact to me.
But THEN, enter the specie of (*most of the) relationships I've been coming across ever since my head figured being unbiased. 
No giving/taking space.  (I can almost hear Sheldon go; "THE HORROR")
Most of the relationships I've been seeing around are of people my age, I admit. Thus such acts of immaturity are only natural, and one is expected to mature out of them as one grows up, right? But that doesn't help when I realize that I've also seen people much elder to me be in relationships and I hate to say this, they seemed pretty much the same :|  (Mental retardation, ladies and gentlemen?)

So here's my (sightseeing) experience after closely observing a few species of awesome relationships turned into absolute bird poop ones : 
So they are in/claim to love a person and all that. That's kick ass. They have their initial honeymoon period of 6 months-ish where everything she/he says makes the other flutter around like a (pink) bird (caaam on, a butterfly would make anybody cringe. Birds are chill.), they are more concerned about each other's health than their own doctor who they haven't bothered seeing since dinosaurs existed, they want to spend (almost) all their time together, they are both at their best behavior and compliment each other like they've been paid to do so, go out for dates complimented by gifts that become the proof of their eternal and perennially flowing lowe, and basically they become a big fat part of each other's existence (the kind of 'fat' SUMO wrestlers are. With their big butts that stick out and thus are humanly impossible to ignore.)

But THEN, the honeymoon period ends. They slowly unravel the careless sides of themselves, the arguments get harder to forget, insecurity/possessiveness nudges them in the ribs (each blow getting harder by the day, mind you), suddenly a habit that was cute turns into a mild irritant and then to downright annoying, and for the three cherries on the cake- all his/her faults and cracks that were (apparently) accepted by him/her with open arms need to now change, they take each other for granted like peanut butter and jelly, AND their separate spaces becomes the same. And with those ladies and gentlemen, sticks out the middle finger at your idea of your puurrrfaact boyfriend/girlfriend. In your face, lowerboy/lowergirl.

Now I wouldn't want to get into what happens further cause that just becomes ugly (you do not want to know. Rather I wouldn't want to remember, since I hope to be in a relationship and "find love" at some point of time.) 
So here's what. All I see now with certain couples who I thought were god sent :--
I see them criticizing each other (bickering like old couples who don't get any), avoiding fights because they're not bothered enough anymore (which sucks, by the way. Fighting like cats and dogs is beyond awesome. However when you decide to lay low and let the wind blow, you should know your relationship is going downhill and is worse off than a break failed car) , I see them talking to each other like they have dog collars of each other's names on them, I see them deciding what to/not to wear according to the other person (and they don't enjoy doing so,beeteedubs), I see them hanging/ not hanging out with people because of their better halves (which slowwwly kick starts the quota of regrets), I see them shrinking everything that they were and their potentials into a tiny little world inside themselves which revolves around the other person. 

They choose have to talk/ text/ meet the other person instead of sitting out in the sun and reading alone, or catching up with their friends who seem like strangers now, or listening to that one favorite playlist that used to be on loop once upon a time. 
They stop doing their own thing, you know? There is no "Me time" or a time when they don't have their stupid blinking phone around just to make sure they don't miss his/her call/text cause that would lead to a hundred questions later.

And thus my head screams at such exemplary lovebugs:
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? (apart from you turning into a blithering idiot.)
Whatever happened to your ideas, your choice of clothes/people/food/shows/hobbies
Why do his/her opinions matter so much? Rather, why do only his/ her opinions matter so much that yours learnt to take a pass? 
You're obviously taking the "two bodies one person" scene literally. 
If you don't even stand for what you were so perfectly for so many years of your life before this bugger came along, how is a relationship a thrill then? 
And also, this is definitely not love, bro. 

So that's that. I don't even see the point of this post, but the conclusion is that I'm really, really confused (and bored). Lately I've been seeing so many people act the exact way I described above that it's creeping the daylights out of me. Certain friends who were such vibrant individuals before act like teenage husbands and wives. 
Don't people need space anymore? Rather, have people forgotten to ask the other person to back off after a point and let them breathe in their own territory? Is 'compromising' the new synonym for forgetting yourself altogether and living somebody else's time table? 

But of course, I've also seen a bunch of couples who're pro at being magic together. Some of them being on blogger itself ;)  I've seen certain people who honestly make all the compromises, fights and stuff so worth it and pretty much improve themselves for the better, not transform themselves. I've seen certain couples who make me envy their level of compatibility, their ageless romance and perpetual spontaneous spunk that never dies!
But sadly enough, I haven't seen enough of them. Mostly all I see is the horror I've pointlessly ranted on about. Perhaps I wouldn't have even written about it had a particular incident precisely 36 hours back not triggered it.

So that brings me back to the same question (I've honestly forgotten, but I'll ask one anyway),
what the hell is going on with such people, boss? And is all what I wrote about really a part of a normal relationship or are we talking about wannabe ships which never really set sail and imagine themselves to be the on-shore Titanic? (#RealityCheck) Most importantly, WHERE is the love? :O

And I have no idea just why would I even bother with typing so much on something so pointless at this point of time. (I'm obviously highly jobless)  Blame it on the Boards. :/
Bleh. I'm going to go get ice cream.
Dear world, go fight/make love/kill each other/win the Nobel prize.
I'm going to go get ice cream ^_^

-Random,much (you know you luuurrvve meh.)
Nil. =)


  1. I do lava you, and fully agree. It's looking at people like this that make me thank the Force for giving me sense to be me, and just me.

    I'm not saying your opposite partner will change you, but you won't live in your own skin anymore.

    People tend to lose their individuality when they enter a relationship- mainly females. Seriously, it's okay to take your time and take your space.

    To conclude, singles for the win. It's my way of life, and no- I don't care if I turn into a senile old cat (actually I like dogs better) dog lady!

    (Oh and, hi-five)

  2. Hahahah! Absoluuuutely loving your comment more than words can say!

    Echo at each and every word right there, alright.
    Also, I think senile old cat/dog ladies are so cool with their gypsy skirts and everything :D

    High five, hells yes!

  3. This is a good post though, and you clearly made your point on the hopeless relationships people indulge themselves in.

    People mistake "Infatuation" to "Love" and they fall in the vast pit, which they dug themselves. Once they are there, they try to adapt to the situations and they behave like you said being like teenage husband & wives.

    And your thoughts sync with mine but I hope that there is still something called "LOVE" somewhere. We just need to find it, I guess(atleast that's what most people believe). And seriously I don't believe in the thing called "True Love" because there isn't any!

    Its better to be 'Single' and enjoy life like we want/dream than to fall for some cheesy lines of love and experience more hatred than love and sacrificing oneself completely for the happiness of partner/gender.

    Loved the ending.
    Take Care. :)

    P.S. Sry, if the comment is too lengthy and I guess I might have written too much nonsense. My Apologies. :-/

  4. First things first, I'm in the 6 month trap and till now I have been MYSELF like totally and the guy who I happen to know from 1st grade and have been best of frnds is fine with who I am, but as it is the first 6 months; I have no idea what the future holds you know. And Nil, those thoughts there are exactly mine..what with friends getting obsessed with the guys and just not being THEMSELVES and ending up to be a wreck. God, 11th grade was full of those sightings.
    Well, I was single a long long time but being is love is an amazing feeling all together as long as it's all dreamy and exciting that is. CHill with the exams man, and DUDE do you just have to end every damned post with something that just makes me go over to the empty fridge and stare at it. :(

  5. I think it's because of what society teaches us. Or maybe not.

  6. LULZ.

    screw dem guys.
    Our lowe is pure, wogay?

    P.S. what flavor ice cweam didya have? AND WITHOUT ME?

    Oh,the horror.

  7. heyyy.....
    am new to ur blog i read through most of ur posts and i like it a lot... and yaa nw am a follower of urs :) keep in touch :)

  8. This post is very relative for a lot of people. I've experienced the 6month horror.

    I've been on the flipside as well when you go probably green with 'envy after seeing the level of compatibility, ageless romance and perpetual everlasting spontaneous spunk.'

    It's quite a sort of daily observation which you seem to have 'parrrfactly' woven into intelligent words.
    I liked it!
    You said it absolutely fine! =)

  9. @Ajay: Haha lengthy comments are always a treat, Ajay. Don't you worry one bit about that :)
    I do completely agree with you about the mistaking infatuation as love bit. But haha I'm pretty sure 'love' is somewhere out there. Just the right place and the right time and you're sorted!
    P.s- believe me, cheesy mush is awesome. Just as long as that's not all that's left of the relationship :) Thanks for the comment man, didn't think anybody would actually bother reading this whole post :P

    @Sam: Wooohhoo Sammy, sounds good to me yo. And 1st grade? Dating chuddy buddies are we? You're too cool to change sistah. Hold on and pass on the free love ;)
    And honeymoon period, eh? Make sure you exploit all the coffee dates and get as many 'you look sooo preeeeedy' ;) Kidding, good luck, you! :)

  10. Oh Dude, That definitely made me go LOL.
    I agree with most of the things.. I mean when you are living with people who ask their 'better half' about what they should wear... it really does push you over the edge!
    But I still won't question love and its existence, based on these idiots.

  11. @Rach: Your comment is dangerously open ended and I'm so tempted to write a book on that. But gaaah! Maybe I'll save that for an email instead :)

    @Vanta: Sisters before misters, bro. ;)
    And I had my phabooorite butterscotch =) I shall come over this week and we'll have more ice cream! :*


  12. @Anjali: Hi, there! Welcome to my blog. haha thank youu. I sure do hope to see you around :)

    @Akansha: Am thrilled than ever that you were at the flip side,too. Pretty much as Sam said, being in love is one of theee awesomesttt feelings ever :)
    Haha thank you! Honestly didn't think anybody would read this badass good for nothing script :P you guys are awfully loyal readers! :')

    @Stuti: Right on, sistaaah. And dude stop sitting online in the next room. I'm bored -.- Come to my room :/ (sneak in,tho. I'm supposed to be studying.bleh.)

  13. oh bhai. how jobless are you? i mean itna time kaise hai to like watch relationships so closely?

    i mean no offence but i see a guy and a girl together and bas i dont give em a second thought.

    u! u toh proper faloodofyed their whole history geography future! how!

    go get an ice cream! and itna soch mat. it confused u. u tend to keep a view then that relationships are good/ bad. thats what fucks up most of em.

  14. bacchi what i said may sound offensive, but trust me i didn't mean to be such.

    u tk cr!

  15. What if the chemistry was there initially and it just dies away ?
    It happens you know.
    Can we label it infatuation ?

    Most marriages end up like that,you know ?
    In a boring rut.

    An impressive post :)

    Good luck for your boards ^^

  16. @Raj: You said no offense, and I say none taken! But I sure do hope you read the multiple indications of the author at jobless mode/ bored. This was a funny post, and that light shall stay.
    It's a little hard to ignore the "history/geography/future" when it's your closest friends, like you said. I don't keep a view on relationships Raj, which is why the first request to all readers was "So consider this an innocent question from a curious mind, and nothing else".
    This post was about a thought that's been there in my head, and I'm guessing the sole purpose of a personal blog is to share my opinion without being judged, right.
    P.s- if you didn't give nothing too much thought, I'm actually surpirsed you decided to read the whole post, mate.
    Anyhoo,you take care!

    @Vidhi: Gaah, I wish I could answer your question, but honestly, I wouldn't know! And yep, I agree. That happens to marriages- and they definitely can't be called infatuation right :/
    And thank you for the luck! Glad you liked the post :)

  17. This. Is timing bro.
    I NEEDED to read something like this right now, oh yes I did :/
    BUT the point is, what is one supposed to do after realizing that their relationship is hanging somewhere in the middle? Hanging ON the line dividing the "restricting" relationship and the "magical" relationship?
    Who says only people end up PMSing? I say relationships do too! :/

  18. possibly u dont realize that of the few blogs i read, i read urs without fail :)

  19. Love this.

    My best friend recently fell "in love" and now she seems like such a stranger to me now :(

  20. Well i dont have anything much to add to the discussion, because i have no personal experience nor have noticed it happen to my friends, but this post was fun to read :D
    I think maybe one reason why things go wonky, is that people tend to have a romanticised version of love and relationships. So when things go not so well, they dont really no what to do and resort to things like shutting up about their problems, changing themselves according to the other's likes and dislikes, etc. Maybe.

  21. @Ruhani: Relationships PMS like there's no tomorrow alright! And if you ask me, irrespective any problem, the first thing to do is accept that you've turned into a total idiot and then tell the same to your partner. Don't nag about how "things aren't the same anymore whaa whaa whaaaaaa" -- REMEMBER the stuff, the spunk that was there initialy and resort to totally kiddish ways to get that back if necerssary :) Take a break from each other for a while? Go chill as friends like old times. Communication is the key, child.
    And holy shit I really shouldn't be talking, this is so not my forte :| But as a friend, that's all the advice I'd give :)

    @Raj: That sure does humble me, thank you :) [let's not even get into the 'you're very kind' scene, you know the drill]

  22. @jnana: Thank you!
    And agh, I know how annoying that can get. :/ Go out for a girls night or something, that should fix things :)

    @Priyanka: I kinda agree, yes! There's a whole bunch of other stuff, too. But that's pretty much the crux of it I guess.
    I guess :/

  23. In my circle, people do demand/provide proper space, I swear they do. It's all a game of maturity, as one grows older and matured, honeymoon period shrinks down tremendously, to a couple of weeks merely. And after that its all understanding.

    My two cents - date enough different people to know what REALLY suits you.

    You paint a dismal picture Nil, Y U NO SUIT UP? :)

  24. Sound prettttty darn kickass,your group, NG!
    And haha no man, no dismal no nothing. I was a bored child who decided to turn a tiny insect of a thought into a rather lengthier version of Himalayas :P
    Aw caaam aaan,I was bored alrighttt. ;P

  25. I love this so much, haha.


    Luis (my blog!)

  26. If this is how you write when bored, then hats off to you!

    Though, you know how everything has at least two sides, so does this. This, actually has many shades. I myself have seen such different types of relationships. Some make me sad, others make me believe its not that bad.

    Great post :)

    1. I completely agree with you, Diwita. If not three, everything has flip sides for sure. And hells yes, about something so deep and huge, shades is the word!

      Haha thank you. Believe me, you do NOT want to salute hats at my boredom. It's useless as hell :P

  27. I see you got the reply thingy :D

    I miss you sistahs like crazy.

    1. Yessssss, so I did.
      I miss you buggers,too :( I had such a bad day, it's not even funny. Like, really not funny. The kind of day that makes you want to go bald? Yah. That kind.

      P.s- was I really sleepy or did you actually send me a "Zee yaa what yaaa" text at frikkin dawn? Cause it wasn't there when I checked again :/

  28. haha! Great post! It is all about creating a balance and have your own world too in which your significant other is not a part. You are together and you move forward but when you are alone you turn back and see the world has gone farther.

    Catch me on FB also :)

  29. hhahhaha our little angel is growing up :D Sulu and TBG need to read this post :P

    so coming to the me relationships which has just you and me and no individuality...nothing...just they....never last for long...that is one reason why ppl say love and marriages are different :)

    I have been in relationships and trust me I always tht when i was young i tht i so wanna be together all the time :P ( that's immaturity) but then as u grow old that thing go out of the window :P and space, ur set of friends, freedom as important as HIM :D
    So what ur seeing is what all girls and guy go through in teens and some ppl don't know how to over grow that and are still same later :P and some who do....can stand the marriage :)

    In end relation is all abt compatibility and it resides in understanding happiness...that includes space :)

    Enufff of gyan ....first grow old enuff and u will know it :P and trust me all teenage romances are way too kiddish and this comes from somehow who wonders when did she grow up :P

  30. You are right. And I'm gonna stop right there and start laughing because you said "Me time"..


    Yes, I'm a pervert, what can you do about it? :P

    1. I tried, I tried all year. Once a pervert, always a pervert :P
      See ya on 25th sucker :D

  31. Have seen such people in my lifetime too. I cannot understand them either.

    There was this guy who was in a relationship with one of the girls in our gang. The only thing he would ever ask any of us was if she ate her meals, if she slept well, if she was happy. It was so sickening at one point. He even asked us repeatedly to take care of 'his' girl. Yuck!

    And there was this lady who refused to accompany me for my wedding shopping in a weekend because her husband would get bored alone at home.

    Personal space is one of the most important things in a relationship. Must be nurtured.


Pour out your thoughts on mine.... :)