Have you ever had that one stretch of uncounted hours when your mind shuts off to all the sense in the world, and you find yourself in a boat; a boat, in the middle of your mind. You can see the walls of your mind but all they ring of being cold air. The seams of the white in your eye have a tinge of red, your throat is chocked but you're biting your lip as hard as you can to not cry. You're a strong girl, strong girls don't cry. That's not what the world said, no. That's what you told yourself.
The little lamp of white light next to you gives you no comfort. If at all, it reminds you every minute that there is not a single door present in the valves of your mind, there are only walls; which do not even listen. No matter how much you speak aloud, you'll just bite your lips harder when your words ring back to you.
You don't understand this. You don't understand this confinement, you don't understand your mind. And you know; this too, shall pass; though this one sure is doing everything it can to make you ridicule a hopeful belief, such.
You're a strong girl, though. You're not going to cry.
Tell yourself that, just one more time.
-Nil
The little lamp of white light next to you gives you no comfort. If at all, it reminds you every minute that there is not a single door present in the valves of your mind, there are only walls; which do not even listen. No matter how much you speak aloud, you'll just bite your lips harder when your words ring back to you.
You don't understand this. You don't understand this confinement, you don't understand your mind. And you know; this too, shall pass; though this one sure is doing everything it can to make you ridicule a hopeful belief, such.
You're a strong girl, though. You're not going to cry.
Tell yourself that, just one more time.
-Nil
For some reason, I totally get this.
ReplyDeleteIts a brain fart. And this too shall pass :)
And if its fiction, you're good. So good.
Let's just say.. It can never be fiction enough, can it!
DeleteThanks Revaaa. Always do the happy dance to see you here :)
I have :(
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club, ehh.
DeleteSometimes, its better to let it go and be lost for that little while. Cry, with reason or without reason. With whatever reason your mind conjures up. Because it has to have an outlet. Because like the smoke that is inhaled inwards, if not let out, turns into hard and black tar, it needs to be let out. Lest it turns into this painful dull ache inside of you, that will simply never go away.
ReplyDeleteAnd, at the end of the day, take a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that, all boats find their shore. In time.
Oh lord, IceMaiden. Thank you, for the last line :)
DeleteAnd might I add, I agree with you wholeheartedly!
I believe there's always some fact in fiction, so hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd this, right here is so good. ^
You caught me,bro. I will :
Deletewhen its time to cry, weep. mourn whine and get over with it. and once you are done tell yourself. hogaya. no more.
ReplyDeleteFair enough!
DeleteI can relate to this.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not so good at telling myself not to cry. I cry at the drop of a hat :P
I love reading your posts :)
Haha thank you Astha :)
DeleteI wish I didn't relate to this so much. :P
ReplyDeleteAnd I know it is better to cry and let it out...but somehow I can't even do that. It is a strange, strange place where my mind lands up in...
~A
A strange place is the prerequisite, trust me ;)
Deleteits just a bad day my loving pagol chagol..love you
ReplyDeleteaww love you more! your text made my day :)
Deleteyea i know it... i can relate to it..
ReplyDelete& yaa i do say to myself that u r a strong girl and you are not going to cry :) :) awesome girl :)
Thank you, Anjali :)
DeleteCatharsis is the tone of the day. i can imagine the door-less walls in the mind while you sit in a lonely boat,all by yourself. However, I believe sometimes these phases in life are necessary, they keep you in check. so that you always know that all this too is a part of life, a part of you and it'll come back every once in a while. Embrace this moment as you would have loved happiness and everything will be at it's right place:) Although it's easier said then done but we all can hope to try :)
ReplyDeletesmile and the world shines :) good luck!
So very well put. Carpe diem for everything; good or bad in life, eh? Roger that :)
DeleteThank you so much. See you around.
This is just beautifully written, and I can totally relate. We all pretend to be brave, when sometimes, all we can do is cry. Or laugh-cry. And I love your blog, so I shall follow :]
ReplyDeleteHope you are out of this phase soon!!
ReplyDelete