Fragile.

"Fragile." 
Your suitcase is going to have that sticker when you're at the airport, right? I want to be that sticker. I want to be a part of that suitcase that you packed from home, that has that book you kept asking me for but ended up buying instead, that has the orange shirt that has the cologne on from last night's farewell, that has the black bow tie I always wanted to see you in, and the little black diary of yours that's tucked away into a chain.

I want to be a part of that box of home that you're carrying to a new land. I want to sit next to you when you tap your foot impatiently, waiting for your flight to take off. You've been waiting too long to escape this place, haven't you? The ticket in your breast pocket was the one shot you needed, it turned out to be the one shot you finally got.
I want to be standing right there when you step out of the aircraft and see the new city for the first time, when your mind has no curfews and you're all set to run... I want to start running with you.
I want to be sitting across the table, when you have your first breakfast away from the round table with a red and white checkered table cloth back home.
I want to see you quietly put a letter you received a day back at the bed side drawer, I want to see you read it, again. I want to be the last full stop, on that letter.

I want to be each and every stamp on your passport. I want to be every single crinkled bus ticket that stays in the pockets of your jean. I want to count your change while you tip off the waiter at the cult cafes around the world, I want to share the binoculars you see through to see the horizon complementing your new terrace. I want to be the coin you toss in your first wishing well in Europe and I want to be the chop sticks you use so proficiently for Sushi.

I want to feel your pulse as each and every second becomes an experience.

However, I see the ends of your trousers flapping through the gust of air that comes in while you board the plane, and your suitcase goes away with you, while the Fragile sticker stays on with me.

-Nil.

(P.s- I promise and update post, next. I'll spare you the perpetual after-midnight- Fiction OD.)

Where do you go when you're lonely?

Do you walk on that one street with restaurants on the right, glowing a gorgeous warm yellow and buzzing with the clutter clatter of cutlery? 
Do you feel a little comforted when you see people from those big glass windows dining and toasting to company? 
Do you quickly hold on to the cap on your head, feeling the warmth of the wool and wait for it to breathe out cold air, just like you? Or do you blow out that very cold air into the chilly evening and pretend for it to be smoke, just so you're not alone, just so your mouth is in touch with something, if not words. 

Or do you switch on that old sitcom while it starts snowing outside and you're too scared to look at the white outside, to remember last winter..  
I've noticed how you never put out the Christmas cards on she shelf anymore. Don't they make you feel more at home? Don't they remind you of home? 

Where do you go when you're lonely? 
I've seen you get nervous even when your shadow follows.  
Do you go to the town's carnival, buy yourself cotton candy and eat it while your eyes descend to London's big eye and the time you took a tourist friend on it? Or the one time you had your first kiss in one of the cabins in it? 
Do you remember your old high school corridor? You never felt lonely when you walked on it, did you. 
More so, because you were too busy driving away her blues every morning. 
You often wonder about her.. She still wishes you went to college together, in the same city. Even though it's been so many years to those times.. But  yes, you both still do think of each other. You hope so.. 

I've seen you walk into one of the big games with a single ticket too, at times. I've seen you keep quiet while the whole stadium went wild. 
I've seen you sitting in movie theaters, half listening to the dialogues and half smiling over youthful shenanigans in the theaters back home, with her. 

Doesn't everything about this new city remind you of those times? 
Every street is different from the ones back home, and yet you can see the same things happen at every corner, at every cafe, every colorful door on the white walls. 
She loved colors, didn't she? She also loved long walks... long walks, with you.  

So where do you go when you're lonely?
Somewhere.. where you hope she follows you?
Haven't you both... just been following each other all this while, sweetheart?  
______________________________________________________________________________

The inspiration to this post :

So yeah, I promised some fiction... Sorry about the abstractness of this piece but aah well, Rem sent me this version of When Stars Go Blue, and I just wrote ahead with a smile. It's alright if you felt a little lost... This post was a little cuckoo in the head, and even more in the heart :) Much loving, Nil. 

Starry Starry Night

Hello.

Hadn't I promised a photo update some million years ago? Yeah, well there y'go. Last night, my Seeboo Sud came over for a sleepover and decided to (like always) entertain my retarded idea of drawing stars all over each other and hit photoshoot mood. (Yuz, I heart you prettyface.) In my defense, I wanted to experiment with tones and image processing and well, yeah. Now if you're done judging me, you may go right ahead and have a look at all the loco pictures that follow.

-finito-

Oh come on, it was a fun photoshoot. Deep, really deep inside, you know you want to do something like this when you're utterly bored and...well, crazy in general. In other news, college is crazy hectic but I'm loving it without no complaints! Meeting new people continues, and eating super cheap (and yummaayy) food continues just as well. Hopefully, the next post will make some more sense with a few fiction pieces that I've been working on. Yep, feeble light of intellectual engagement by yours truly is what you can hope for the coming week.
I must now take your leave and indulge in some music and quick fiction. Or, I might just go watch Sherlock. (again.) So yes, toodles! Have a good week, and come back for the weekend to read some fiction here, y'all =)

-Love and all that,
Nil.

I don't know where I'm going, but I like the directiiiiion.

It's already been two weeks into college and I haven't had the time to breathe, no sirree! Which brings me to the heartiest apologies for abandoning this cyber rant machine for so long, but honestly, I feel like a ninja- what, with so many things going in and around college. I feel like a ninja to have actually coped up with it, after 3 months of literally doing nothing.

So yes, for most of you who are curious to know (or so I'd like to think, anyway), college is GOOD. It's intense, I absolutely love my papers and the profs are notches higher than brilliant. The (literally) beautiful part about my class is, I can be as politically incorrect as I wish, and nobody minds! Every class is like an open debate with no rules as such and it's a breather from how school used to be. Kids in my class are pretty smart. I've made quite a few friends, yes. I'm hoping few of them go a long way, they're chiller people =) Classes get cancelled often, and "perks of North Campus" is an understatement in that context. The kind of unadulterated joy you feel when the professor cancels out on class is just... happiness!
Classes/No classes followed by chills at the cafes only make life better, not to mention the student considered prices in the restaurants only make you want to run around wearing a cape reading "I ♥ NorthCampus".


The past week has been mostly auditions for various societies. And might I mention, I made it to Aria, the 
Western Music Society of my college =) Next up, trials for the much talked-about DramSoc, Ibtida. 
Next week's going to be slightly crazy, again. But I'm hoping by the end of it, I'm going to be settled on the societies I want to join. 


The highlight of the week has been a visit to my favoritestestest bakery with college friends when a class got cancelled. Now see, the place was built so people like us could taste love. I exaggerate not, two of my bros and I can take a blood oath on Elma's Red Velvet Cake. (Vanta, Guina.. if you're reading this) :*

Photo Credits: Tara :)

Oh sure, I dint mention right? Yep, got some color to jazz up ze hair a litttuul bit, and crazy specs were only a necessity. =D  (Stop judging me, okay? You can't do this shit when you're 80.)
SO YES. 
College has well begun, and it's been good to me, so far. Life only promises to get crazier, so hey we'll take it as it comes and yabba dabba doo into the sunset in your pink rickety mustang!


Fill me in with emails and everything on how goes it with y'all?
Are the 12th graders slogging it out? You work-o-holics still on double shifts? Mommies going crazy? Kids stomping on mud?
Do tell! 


-Red hair and Purple Spectacle-ed,
Nil =)