See You Soon.

"But don't answer that In a bullet-prove vest, 
With the windows all closed I'll be doing my best and I'll see you soon."

It's been a while, I've been a little aloof, and the fictions were dreamy too, yes. But perhaps University exams do that to you, or maybe it was my annual pre winters blue. But hey, I'm back now only to be gone again. Elaboration being; my end sem exams are done with and I have literally nothing to do for the next month and a half except dance in two big fat family weddings, read lots of books, go all out with jams and chill with my favourite human beings AND write some serious fiction. Which is fine, it's the one thought that I'd been binging on all this while that my exams were on. 
I was in Bombay, a week back. I'm in Calcutta now. I'll be in Delhi in four days. I'll be in Pune in about two weeks.
Needless to say, I'm going to be all over the place and as much as I promise writing like a lover all of December, I can't promise if they'll be typed beyond the pages of my big fat leather diary. Simply because the whole month of December is going to be so fly. But I'll try, for sure. Otherwise... Bonne chance with the Fiction/ Poetry OD in January!

But Calcutta has made me write some. Like always. It's the one place I've always been inspired to come up with some tale out of some crooked thought. I have a feeling this month of December is going to give me a lot to write for, it's a good feeling. It's been a while since I wrote my heart out, I miss that feeling of fulfilment when I am able to pen down exactly what's in my head and put it to paper. So here's hoping that feeling comes home soon, and here's a picture from today. 

Piyushsterr & Nilsterrr meet in another city. 

I don't feel like talking much today, so I think I'll get back to my book now. I'll try to be around, but if I'm not, see you soon. :)

-Much love,
Nil. 

18.

It's official now. If I kill somebody, I go to a proper jail and not the juvenile one.

Yes, I'm officially 18, ladies and gentlemen. I have so much to say about the birthday and the day after that.. starting from a midnight surprise by Vanta, Guina, Mitra, and Dasgupta to a poster on How to Shit, a silver ring (WISH LIST, check!!!!!), a BEATLES mug (!!!) and Vanta's card (:*). Not to mention Nair and Guina's dramatic shenanigans at buying me a dress, the ulterior motives of which were realized later. Nightstay with the girls followed a lunch with my retarded clan of lovely lunatics (very entertaining,mussay.) the next afternoon. After a foot long bill, we made our way to a fort where we well, flopped ourselves and chilled for a while over puns and whatnot.
All of that followed a trip back home, only to leave again with dad to get a new phone ^.^
After that started a nice warm evening dinner at home with three of my chudddy buds and family where Rob managed to startle me yet again (like every year pssshhh) with his present. It was the Flash tee shirt that Sheldon wears in TBBT, something that I wanted since forever but managed to forget about myself cause I thought it was impossible to get it :O Yah. Crazy how he manages such things every year, eh? :)
I got my first Nine West bag from Pishi and a gorgeous green (huge) bag from Debo Da for college. Oh and LOTS of chocolates. Like, lots. Willy Wonka's factory kind, yeah?
And the next day, my friends took me out clubbing for the first time! (the dress, remember?) Apparently, you're not 18 enough until and unless you go clubbing on the night itself =P I cant feel my feet, that's how much we danced. Shivi and Nair, both wrote me letters =') And Piyushsterrr recorded his version of Fix You and sent it to me as an 18th special. :')
Yeah, well. That was a long (LOOOOOOOONG) story cut short. Because in the span of 2 days, so much awesomeness has happened that it'll be slightly ridiculous if I described all of it right now.
And honestly, it'll kind of spoil it. What happens on an 18th, stays in the 18th ;)
I'm blessed, is all.

Year 18 came with a whole lot of revelations, too. Many of my bestest friends weren't around.. (Uhhuh, you know who you guys are.) but it was quite a birthday, nevertheless.
Year 18 has come with a certain expectation, a certain hope, a certain anxiety too, in the back of my head. And well, I'll take it as it comes. What's meant to be, will be.

To all of you who worked so hard despite me being a pessimistic douche the day before my birthday, THANK YOU, really. You guys make life in general worth it. It's been great, it's been bright, it's been perfect, it's been brighter than sunshine. Let the rain fall, I don't care. :)

18, be good to me, alright.

Snippets from the day :)

-Legal and legit,
Nil. :)

What you want to hear, what I want to say.

HELLO!

Just how have y'all readers been? Yes, it's been a while. The month of June has been an erratic sketch of ridges and troughs, but we shall ALL take a moment now and thank it for the perfect end, yes? 

After much ado, life is finally, finally good. I made it to one of the best colleges in Delhi University (!!!) and college starts in a month. Orientation Day is on 20th July, oh and might I mention I'm on my toes.

I'M SO EXCITED IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY :D 

The professors are absolute sweethearts and the kids are different shades of fun and intellect. I absolutely LOVE the college campus! University Feeeeel at its BEST. The colleges is a typical old school, red bricked building (♥) with loooong corridors with ample sunshine and pretty green fields here and there. I'm yet to see the library, shall do on orientation day =)  

Travelling is going to be well, tiring. But it's worth it, so hey. What the hell. 

Anyhoo, in latest news- It was ze Beedles's birthday on 28th. So after screwing up her dress, ensuring she lost her pair of brand new contacts and hogging on a strange yummaayy mix of Chinese and South Indian we figured we'd push off for home when the sentimental Jack in us kicked. You see the education hungry was to run away to Bombay today to become a hot shot lawyer and jazz. So we figured one last sleepover was due, and thus sleepover we did. The night was spent lying around on the couch calling old stories at each other and munching on crackles with pickles (*keyboard stops working with all the drool on it.) 

Some fart jokes and a few heart-to-hearts pretty much sums up the night. 

I'm going to miss you, dipshit. AND THAT PHOTOGRAPH MUST BE PINNED TO YOUR PINBOARD AT ALL TIMES. Okay? OKAY? Yeah, okay. 

In other news, I be going for a trip! To the hills with 3 of my favoritestestest homez. Should be fun, but hey, I'm not saying nothing till it actually happens. So yes, shushh about the excitement. (*silently screams like a happy little girl)

Other than that, I'm figuring ways of ditching out of a dance show. I want some time off from absolutely everything and chill out some. These 20 days before college starts must be spent judiciously doing everything awesome. OH AND BIRTHDAY MONTH IS ALMOST HERE. :O I have no clue if I'm doing anything or not but ehh. Must figure out soon :|

And ofcourse, Piyushsterrr going on about some surprise he has in mind for ze birthday does not help my excitement levels ^.^  (If you're reading this Pickles, TELL ME ALREADY.) Oh, and don't go? Please? Thanks.

Moving on, fill me in with what's up with y'all? How's the weather at your end? (small talk. FAIL.) How's everything been? Who died? Who lives? Oh, and apologies to have not been around much and throwing in my comments. The college scene had the best of me the past month. But I shall stalk you guys right up and catch up. Mails to be answered by the weekend, promise :)

I'M GOING TO FRIKKIN COLLEGE YOU GUYS.

Oh, and random photo update-

Yes, my room happens to be very pretty.

retard picture 9384948. Pickes clicked!

Yeah, okay. I'll go now =) 

Muchings of lovin'

-Nil.

P.s- Fiction, soon enough. Yes, very very very soon!

Chiquitita Memories

'nuff of the serious deep fiction, HI there,fat round world. How are thee doing? The day has been absolutely generous in drenching me with sweat every time I step anywhere which has the faintest trace of the sun, also the rain gods have been shy and unwilling which is annoying me. BUT. I must tell you that yesterday something happened. I mean, nothing "happened". Just....an epiphany. You know how we hold on to certain threads of a memory/a person/a hope?.. a thread that somehow sends quiet sparks into the silent sky of your thoughts.. Yeah, well, when that thread breaks, you almost hear a loud 'SNAP!' in your head. That happened. Last night. And I couldn't be more happy. It had been a while since I'd been holding on to lose ends of a ribbon and now, as Remya put it, I've cut that end of the ribbon and let it fall in the ground. And it's over, for good now. :)

THERE. End of deep stuff. Okay so here's the update- My darling retards in school and I have all decided on figuring out this bucket list of things we want to do before we leave school, and slowly we've started the execution to all those Must-Do checks. We've done two, almost in the process of doing the third one, but heyy I plan to publish that list on my blog in the end of the school year. But just to give you a peak-a-boo to today's Wishlist execution-----> I always wanted to run wild on the School's terrace where students aren't allowed. I wanted to do a sprint, run crazy, and let the wind blow into my face cause the terrace is always pretty insane with the summer winds.. And so, today, Vanta and Guinz came to us (Rem and me) after break and told us that the passage to the terrace was open! And so, there we went. We dragged Chatur along and hell while I was walking hurriedly towards the stairs that led up, I felt this tension and once I entered the terrace, the first thing that greeted me was that crazy craaazy wind. I did sprints with Rem, ran w.i.l.d with Guinz and laughed like a retard with Chatur and Vantz. And with that, I felt exhilarated. Somehow. I felt.. amazing. Happy. I felt happy.

Yeah. So with that, we hurried out when the care taker, who was the most chilled stud I've ever seen btw, asked us to get the hell out :) And then, I spent useless hours in the Lab with Robin reading romantic poems on the internet and cracking sick jokes at the mush. Then I sat through the other classes with Chatur randomly waving HI to Rem and me frantically from outside the class. With the perpetual chaos going on in the corridors, the snickering in class and feeling like Einstein in Geography class for the first time. Dissing at Mantah and screwing his happiness for ditching on my Rakhi gift. Speaking total shit with Remya in the library pissing the midget Librarian off and figuring and completing each others sentences (which can be very creepy,yes.) Laughing on Diggy's gross hairy chest. Maintaining the chain cycle of obsession with Guina,Rem and Vanta. Missing the Khandelwal sisters whenever I heard anyone nag about the miseries of life. Making Robin ditch every Biotech class just to laze around with me for endless hours in the school campus.

So yeah. Vague moments, amazing, exhilarating, ecstatic simple memories.

Very simple, but gorgeous memories :)

- Go CHILL.

Nil :)

Happy Birthday you Mantal The Bwoyyy!

I'm writing this because I want to. Because you did what you do best for my birthday,and so I plan to do the same. Write.

I've never written anything for you,cause it's always been very retarded and macho little tactics by which we expressed our care and concerns for each other, but today I can't help but tell you honestly just how amazing you are. And just how strong a hand you've been when my feet were feeble and vulnerable.

We've known each other since we were in our diapers, when rattles and teddy bears were cool. (They never were for me,though). Then came the time when we were still toddlers,new to Nursery school, sharing the same bus stop right outside your house when we (okay,I) used to cry when the bus got late. I still remember how beautiful Autumn looked in that bus top of ours :-) Back then,the end of the world were crayons and plasticine clay,when every little boy and girl in school would roam around cutely holding hands and teachers wouldn't have a problem with them. (What shit man? that's where it all bloody starts from!) Then came the Phase of Grade 1-4 when every boy hated every girl and wanted to rip each others throats off for the others' existence.  Then came Grade 5-8 when the awkwardness decreased and the opposite sexes at school started appreciating (and enjoying) each others company, and then came Grade 9-12. When there were best friends, romances, fights, pairing, jokes, nostalgia- ALL around school.
But the strange part is, in all these years of various phases, we've been around somewhere, lurking near each other making our presence very subconscious. We lived our lives in very different ways, met very different people, had insane experiences and walked with parallel but different thought processes.. But haven't we been around,all the time? :-)

The perpetual Ice Creams you keep hiding in my letterbox to cheer me up, the annoying habit of  keeping your phone on Silent Mode, the eye-roll you give me every time I say "Robeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenn...." indicating I had the most dangerous plan in mind which you'd eventually have to join, the way your solution to every problem is "Let's go grab a beer at Spinz", the late night sneak outs for Chicken Lolipops, hitting the mall at 9:30 am to just watch a movie, the way you stand in the corridor every morning in school and peek nervously at me when I enter to check if I'm on my Blues or not and then laugh cause I always am, and the 'Macho' way you try to act when I get all senti, and your absolutely EPIC msgs when you're drunk.
.....and most recent of all, and definitely the one memory that'll never fade- the way you quietly came and sat next to me on the aisle during COHESION when my group didn't win.
I need you to know, that you've been one of the few faces that have honestly helped me sail through like a breeze when times and people tried to break me down.

I need you to know that what I have with you are the memories that make me smile every time I hit a dark mood, and honestly, I thank my stars for having such a retard like you around who'd calm me down when I'm hyper and frantic (which is actually all the time.) You've been an amazing friend. A friend I can never do without.
I could write a whole hundred pages and that wouldn't be enough of the crazy times we've had together and as you say- 'Our Epicness with a Hat and a Feather' won't end.

 Happy Birthday,Rob.
This one's for you.. Cause you were there when most left.

haha remember this crazy night?

-Love always,
"Mantal The Chashmeesh the Gurlzz" :-P

P.S- Bas bohot bhao de diya, ab corner mein jake tatti karle. ;)

It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.

Doing a million things that you might do well in, grabbing every oppourtunity that might lead you to a peak a little higher than the last one, striving to keep up with the rat race that starts the minute you open your eyes in the morning,accepting your faults and short coming to perfect yourself some more, and keeping yourself as busy as you can just so you can get over some stuff and encourage yourself to get going with the present to have a sound future- yes. All of this does leave you gasping for some air. And for a break.
And do you know where does that break reside? It resides in five wicked ladies. For of who make you get up at 6am on the first day of your summer vacation, travel half way across delhi in a metro to go hoot for a fantastic performance by one of those ladies who stun you with thier performance and then follow up to two days that have everything- from sleep, to cold coffees, to hours of chat, to pool side parties, to dinner, to fights, to honest talks, to laughs, to photographs and malls, and then a ride back on the metro half way across delhi- all in one weekend.

This weekend was the mother of all weekends and I shall remember it for as long as women live on this planet. Hell, the past three months have been so crazy.. So many things hit me, so many confessions, so many decisions, and so many dilemmas. So many things ended. But I guess so many things started too,right? I let go off a million things, sat down and threw away every complexity that reached me. I just decided to not bother about anything and everything that was screwing me up somewhere and I decided to start afresh. And the first step was to smile and do what makes Me happy. Things are slowly falling back to place, but there's something so fantastic about this erratic person in me. Of this person who isn't a phone person anymore, who likes to walk, who likes to make quick plans, and who doesn't regret any thing.
But it sure is tiring,too. To be in a constant war with every element that might want to make me turn around and imbalance my run... and sigh. Aren't we all blessed to have these certain faces that suddenly pop out of nowhere and plan out the wildest weekend to just godamn have fun and catch up on six months of bullshit?

So yes. My weekend was murderously wondrous! And to you ladies- Rem, Monx,Megh and Shrey. You guys made my month! and I swear, this weekend was more than enough for me to pass the next few weeks worrying about nothing and saying What the hellll to ever screw up :P
I love you craaaazy women :*

-- Much much love,
Nil/Bongo/Nilzi/Nila. ;)

It's Us.

Dear friend,
it's been a while we spoke. It's been a while we joked, we interacted.. It's been a while, we've been Us. Till a month back,things were good and kicking. We did our daily retarding around, we ranted on and out about of normal lunacy, we texted humorously mind threatning msgs, you gave me that freak eye roll of your's that pissed me off, and I distorting your ears with my utter rubbish of the world. It's been quite a while.

I was reading our old conversations,today. I laughed out loud at our ridiculous freakshow like bond. I laughed at how much I learnt to trust a person in a year, and respect that person enough to heed her comments and words at important milestones. I laugh gladly, with happiness.

I remember our initial months of 10th grade, when I got my story selected to get published in a book, and you got the Student Of The Year award By TOI. You called me to share the news, and holy shit I remember how much we were jumping with joy and screaming and kicked with enthu saying "Let's fucking top everything man!" . I remember my pride when I saw you rising to a level where teachers at school looked up at you and recognized you not as a student, but a future. I remember your joy and pride at the awkward hug you gave me in library the day Suman Anand ma'am told me about my standing a position in The Scholastic Writing Awards competition.
I remember sitting in an empty class after that, bunking some godknowswhat class, and chatting. Just talking.
I remember some trivial crap, cause man, trust me. They matter to me.

Things went so weird in the past month. And at none of our's faults.
Things are quiet between us now.
And the lull of the silence leads my eyes to a sadness, no matter how much of an amazing place I might be in.
I hope things get back to how they were..
cause losing out on each other will be a loss we might deal with for a while, but not forever.
I miss you,man.
And I hope things get back to being Us again.

-Love,
freakshow.