Philippic rhapsody.

I'm almost awkward to initiate conversation here, yes I know it's been so long. But oh well,

Greetings, World.
Yes, I most definitely missed y'all, and hell I missed you- Blog. I don't remember the last rant, only because I've been doing something so terrible lately; keeping it all in my head. Moving on to shallow conversation; a very happy Holi to all of you. Bet you guys played with colors and jazz and for those of you rotten rears who threw eggs at me from racing cars; GOOD JOB DOUCHE, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL YOUR SKILLS FOR LIFE.

Yeah, not much of a Holi person. Gone are the days when it used to be dry, pretty and colorful. Nothing about ink and grease please me, so yeah no thanks bye. In other news, a year of college is almost over. Just about now, I have a My Life Is A Lie moment, because I don't even know where that year went. I kept doing things, running around, thinking I'd eventually settle down; except, I haven't. I'm still finding my place, at some level. And because of this terrible running around, I've pretty much forgotten weekends and the concept of 8 hours of sleep. College is overrated. I love it, but it's overrated.
Tiny juniors from school just finished with their Boards, and I fail to see how. THEY WERE TINY. And they're now figuring out their college options. O.o
In another two months, my freshmen year will be over. In two years, my under grad will be over. No seriously, what is wrong with the world?

As you might have noticed, I'm in the mood to rant the brains out of your mind. I want to keep talking to I feel like the scum in my head gets out, you're welcome to stop reading, I won't mind. Of course I will, so leave quietly if you must. If you read on, you'll be a part of that 0.9% of the world I tolerate like right now.
Did I mention, at this point in life, my favorite career option would be to be a waitress at a shack in Goa? Good life. That will be the good life.

The rest of the college week is off, and I plan to write. It's been unhealthily long that I've come up with some piece that I'd be content with. I've just spent too much time entertaining absolute and pointless bullshit and that's enough now. I'm going to write some.
My end sem are around the corner, and I really need to get started with getting back to being a nerd. I miss it. I miss spending endless hours studying when nothing can bother me, and I feel purposeful. And once exams are over, I plan on going away from Delhi for a while. FOR A GOOD WHILE. To get a breather before second year starts and life becomes crazy again. A few of us from DramSoc and MusicSoc have plans of lifting up the productivity of the societies so we can look at ourselves in the mirror and not feel guilty about wasting our lives. I feel like we worked like idiots this year, which is why the end results were never there and we just felt wasted with migraine.

Wow, I fail at emitting happiness. Said the over competitive bastard.
Since I suddenly feel very awkward again and I don't want to talk anymore, here you go; a few pictures from different places my happy feet (lol sure thing) traveled to.

 There y'go. And now, I shall go listen to The Swell Season and hopefully that will inspire me enough to write something and show some bloody passion. Goodbye, lovelies. Thank you for reading. Grumpy Nil happens once in 86 years, I'm sure none of us will be alive for the next one. Is it me or am I really inappropriate?

Much loving,
Nil. 

The embers of a racing mind.

I can almost feel the curvature of my first thought burning away as quickly as the wing of a happy butterfly would ash away to; when inched  to an ignited matchstick. The head of the second thought was the origin of such friction and so has been the cycle of my thoughts, lately. Burnt out; even before one could live. 
A pandemonium of events uncannily containing similar emotions, all of which turn into a chaos inside a breathing room divided into two; my mind needs space. 
Examples of how fragile the think tank of our anatomy is have been in abundance, recently. And some times, I wonder; aren't we all a little tilted in the dark side, at some point?

"A calm man always has a war within him.. which is why, he is calm." ; I heard an acquaintance say, with a smirk today. And the glint in his eyes at the moment convinced me of the autobiographical statement, casually passed to push the puberty of understanding him. 
Since then, a very different spotlight surrounds his figure even in day light, when I look at him. And then I wonder, don't we just look at people? Isn't that all the shallow effort we put in to understanding the immediate wall of concrete we live in, after all? And then we wonder why pity surrounds our existence?

"Atleast this patch of Earth I'm standing on, is my ashtray." ; That was the parent of arrogance, her tongue talking. To our questioning looks, she didn't defend; she stated; that the patch of land she stood on was loyal to her weight, it was loyal to the foreskin of her body and mind. The patch of land was hers to spoil with all her ridiculous and whimsical ideas, to all the forms of salt that secrete out of her brown skin, to the lose strands of hair that fall out of her scalp to rid themselves of the overwhelming amount of turbulence beyond their roots. The patch of Earth was her. It was made out of her, and thus will wait for her slowly ashing body to come back home. The breed of such women was lost, we thought?

" The relevance of the human will and word is tragic, to say the least." ; I thought, after that one friend closed the door behind him. That one friend who was an undertone to the first quarter of my life, who was the proof of my childhood and who was the ear to every voice that made it out of my throat; and the ones that didn't. Years and years of mindless banters and baseless words exchanged in between found their way to my ear drums and I realized how relative human words are; for once the intention changes and the will demolishes, those words don't even exist enough to be called empty, anymore. There is no vessel to them, only tainted air of something that used to be. 
And one day, all those inconsequential conversations will skin the time you lost out on, alive. 


-Nil.

Untitled, for once.

Have you ever had that one stretch of uncounted hours when your mind shuts off to all the sense in the world, and you find yourself in a boat; a boat, in the middle of your mind. You can see the walls of your mind but all they ring of being cold air. The seams of the white in your eye have a tinge of red, your throat is chocked but you're biting your lip as hard as you can to not cry. You're a strong girl, strong girls don't cry. That's not what the world said, no. That's what you told yourself.
The little lamp of white light next to you gives you no comfort. If at all, it reminds you every minute that there is not a single door present in the valves of your mind, there are only walls; which do not even listen. No matter how much you speak aloud, you'll just bite your lips harder when your words ring back to you.

You don't understand this. You don't understand this confinement, you don't understand your mind. And you know; this too, shall pass; though this one sure is doing everything it can to make you ridicule a hopeful belief, such.

You're a strong girl, though. You're not going to cry.
Tell yourself that, just one more time. 


-Nil

I'm the baffled king.

Greetings to my readers from India, Russia, France, Ukraine, United States, United Kingdom, Thailand, Malaysia, Spain, Mexico and Jordan! (Well, according to my Blogger Stats for the day anyway.)
And a big, frantic hand wave to everybody out there who's reading this up right now. =)

Life's been pretty darn hectic. 8:50 am classes everyday in the morning have coerced me to sleep every walking talking minute when I have the time, that is. I get free from college soonly, but then I have society practices which are making me run up the wall, too. In between all of that, add in hour long metro rides to and fro, chills with homies, some sulking and some thing or the other that crops up eventually.
OH, and let's not forget the DUSU elections which have resulted in mobs of angry (not so much), young college students yelling their lungs and throats out onto the road and into our ears (ew, too visual?) and shoving pamphlets with a zillion candidate names into our mouth (well almost anyway) with the most formal smiles. (If that's even possible?)

Mostly, I have pretty good days, and I'm spared the horror of days such as today which by all means and in all practicality sucked monkey balls. By the end of the day, I almost crawled back home on all of my fours. I can't remember, it's all blurry, that memory... (Okay, over doing it.)
One of the   The only high point of my day was the brown package from Flipkart that was waiting for me at home, nicely sitting on my bed. I had ordered Mitch Albom's latest; The Time Keeper.
Thus, we all know who's my date tonight.
Look at him, isn't he preeeeeeedy? =)

cool purple specs win win, eh?

In other news, I got my first two assignments for this semester. Which means I should really stop treating my books like pillows and get crackin'.  -,-

This week is going to be tragic and awesome. Don't ask me why. Long story. Not blog material. And muchings of drafts saved up to (hopefully) be published soon. 

On a completely unrelated note, I've been craving to go out for a photoshoot. I can't decide on a place/ theme. Any suggestions? 

So yes. I think I'm done ranting here about the trivialities of my immodestly significant life. I shall cut you lovelies some slack and catch you here next week, with some fiction, perhaps =)

Good night, my date and a bowl of cereals be waiting. 

Much loving and wishful sighs for Cheesecake,

Nil.

BOO, stupid MOO.

I have always, always wanted to drive an auto. As in zoom away like a boss in full speed, y'know? Wear those cheap golden framed aviators with a wide ass grin and scoot around the city. And fixing the meter would give me cheap thrills of another kind altogether, I can literally feel it :D
An auto version of Crazy Taxi is what I have in mind (a slightly deranged version, actually) but you get the feel of it, right?  No? Not at all? Well, I'm just too cool to be understood so yeah, whatever.
Uhhuh, yah. That's right, I'm giving you attitude -,-

Obviously you've done the math by now and figured I'm in a sliiightly random mood. And no, it's not sugar. It's probably all the Pepsi binge drinking I've been doing. (Or as Zeebster puts it, high on Oxygen, yes.)
Anyway, so imagine this- I'm in my room, with pretty dim warm fairy lights, a good mood, absolutely killer playlist calling out to me and then the speakers decide to not work. Now, imagine one of those exasperated looking memes you find on the internet going "FFFUUUUUUUUUUU". Yes, that's how gawwjuz I look right now.
OH and Gawjuz reminds me- got a pre birthday gift from Chiki today. Insanely pretty freakishly long feather earrings. I'm slightly obsessed with how loud and downright crazy they look, so excuse me while I go shove a camera into my face and super glue my index finger to the shiny silver click button. Which reminds me, I've always wanted to own a Polaroid camera. And might I also mention, the sound that a camera makes after every click gives me the cheeeaappest thrills. (Some times when I'm bored, I put the camera on Sports Mode and run around the house. But you weren't supposed to know that, no. )
I have a lot of cheap thrills. And pet peeves. Did you know?
Irrelevant. Everything about this post is so irrelevant :D

OH. It fiiiinally rained :') I had the Yabba Dabba Doo face for about a whole minute when I saw them rain gods being generous. And did you know a 75 year old person will have slept 23 years? I want to eat a lot of carrots and see if I actually turn orange. And for all of you who drive- the average person spends about two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change [Now you look like that meme from the internet :D ]
Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow? Or that if anybody ever calls you a twit, they're actually calling you a pregnant goldfish? (and now you'll imagine one- go ahead)
Oh, and 75% of the general population will try to lick their elbows after having read this. #Fact
TURTLES CAN BREATHE THROUGH THEIR BUTTS.

Must.Stop.Now.
I've just been having consecutive good days, OKAY? sheesh, stop judging me. Pfffft. Go JUDGE COWS. They're weird as fuck. Big. White. And they always chew. And they MOO. Who moos? I mean why MOO? Say it out loud- MOO- it doesn't even make sense.
Stoooopid intimidating animals who can't be led downstairs once they're up.
MOO.

And if you're still reading this, you're obviously equally jobless (and a very cool person.) I'll get along with you just fine.

I'll go watch Youtube videos on the Hula and try to copy them. And air guitar to GnR (that's another secret-ish cheap thrill of mine that I encourage.)
Bye you guys.

Did you know-- ?

Ok, just bye.
-Nil.

MACARONI RASCALS.

Yes, there's a TV series called Macaroni Rascals in Japan, and I've been ROFLing on it since about a week, now. Don't bother Youtubing it though, it sucks and it'll ruin the cool side of the name.
 Playing now, Traffic In The Sky.
 Anyhoo, still 3 more weeks to go for Boards to end. Had I been in my normal senses, the last line would have been in bold letters followed by a lot of colorful beeps, but the past month has left me CBSE saturated and it is safe to now say that I do not give a flying tush no more. I'm so bored and a miasma of Pissed Off won't leave me alone. Thus, I don't even feel like figuring whatever might I want to do once they're finally over. Turns out, Science kids are luckier. (Yes, I just said that. Sue me.)

So March was supposed to be the month that all Boards kids perpetually PMS in and cradle themselves to sleep at 5 in the morning after ten straight hours of caffeine abuse. Yeah, not so much. As horrible as it was supposed to be, March was quicker than I thought- I have to give it that. Abusing it every day might have accelerated the process, but March has had quite a few random breather visits over at Vanta and Guina's den. Guina's sister turned out to be the best baker in the world (Maxims can go suck it.)
Grand plans of Kerala were finally decided on, and thus we make our way to Rem's ancestral house in May =)

Playing now, Good People.
In other news, SILVER RATES ARE KILLING ME. The silver shop makes me stand outside and stare in wishfully like a sad child and it's pathetic. My birthday's tomorrow, buy me a ring, why don't you? Anyone? Eh? :(
Quit staring, oh pfffft.

A good number of drafts are piling up in ze dashboard, again. You would have probably stopped reading my blog had I updated with another heavy fiction post, so I spared you the horror. I'm so considerate and nice, it's not even funny. (Now refer to my question above. My birthday's tomorrow, really.)

Playing now, Rodeo Clowns.
Enough said, I have nothing more to say. (back track: Hallelujah.)
I've got to go now, I'm invited to this super oozum pool party tonight with electronic music. Thus, I go get ready now.

Lol JK, I'm going to go huddle in a corner and study facts that ain't getting no close to helping me with life skills, whatsoever. And stand up ovations for you lot, to have read through this bizarrely pointless post.
I would tell you how much I love you guys, but I sound like the nasal queen right now. (the whole concept of getting a cold when summer kicks in beats me.)

Guinz et I. Obviously we would have been happier boys.

 Okbyethanksforreadingyouguysi'llgonow.
-Nil.

P.s- Bleh. Next two posts shall be fiction. Don't tell me I didn't warn you, okay. I'm so nice, innit? Refer to my question again, it's my birthday tomorrow. OkThanksBye.

LOVE that makes me LOL.

This is going to be one hell of an abrupt post and I tried delaying it being typed for as long as I could. But there's a particular thought that's been skirting around my mind for about a year now, and lately it's been rather persistent.

I'm not in a relationship. I'm happily single and have been a little too edgy about space issues since a while. So consider this an innocent question from a curious mind, and nothing else.

The world is full of people who are in relationships/commitments. Most of them claim to be in love and seem to quite enjoy everything there is to the mush, the concerns, the fights, their differences and similarities. Which is all fantastic, works and looks absolutely purrrfact to me.

But THEN, enter the specie of (*most of the) relationships I've been coming across ever since my head figured being unbiased. 

No giving/taking space.  (I can almost hear Sheldon go; "THE HORROR")

Most of the relationships I've been seeing around are of people my age, I admit. Thus such acts of immaturity are only natural, and one is expected to mature out of them as one grows up, right? But that doesn't help when I realize that I've also seen people much elder to me be in relationships and I hate to say this, they seemed pretty much the same :|  (Mental retardation, ladies and gentlemen?)

So here's my (sightseeing) experience after closely observing a few species of awesome relationships turned into absolute bird poop ones : 

So they are in/claim to love a person and all that. That's kick ass. They have their initial honeymoon period of 6 months-ish where everything she/he says makes the other flutter around like a (pink) bird (caaam on, a butterfly would make anybody cringe. Birds are chill.), they are more concerned about each other's health than their own doctor who they haven't bothered seeing since dinosaurs existed, they want to spend (almost) all their time together, they are both at their best behavior and compliment each other like they've been paid to do so, go out for dates complimented by gifts that become the proof of their eternal and perennially flowing lowe, and basically they become a big fat part of each other's existence (the kind of 'fat' SUMO wrestlers are. With their big butts that stick out and thus are humanly impossible to ignore.)

But THEN, the honeymoon period ends. They slowly unravel the careless sides of themselves, the arguments get harder to forget, insecurity/possessiveness nudges them in the ribs (each blow getting harder by the day, mind you), suddenly a habit that was cute turns into a mild irritant and then to downright annoying, and for the three cherries on the cake- all his/her faults and cracks that were (apparently) accepted by him/her with open arms need to now change, they take each other for granted like peanut butter and jelly, AND their separate spaces becomes the same. And with those ladies and gentlemen, sticks out the middle finger at your idea of your puurrrfaact boyfriend/girlfriend. In your face, lowerboy/lowergirl.

Now I wouldn't want to get into what happens further cause that just becomes ugly (you do not want to know. Rather I wouldn't want to remember, since I hope to be in a relationship and "find love" at some point of time.) 

So here's what. All I see now with certain couples who I thought were god sent :--

I see them criticizing each other (bickering like old couples who don't get any), avoiding fights because they're not bothered enough anymore (which sucks, by the way. Fighting like cats and dogs is beyond awesome. However when you decide to lay low and let the wind blow, you should know your relationship is going downhill and is worse off than a break failed car) , I see them talking to each other like they have dog collars of each other's names on them, I see them deciding what to/not to wear according to the other person (and they don't enjoy doing so,beeteedubs), I see them hanging/ not hanging out with people because of their better halves (which slowwwly kick starts the quota of regrets), I see them shrinking everything that they were and their potentials into a tiny little world inside themselves which revolves around the other person. 

They choose have to talk/ text/ meet the other person instead of sitting out in the sun and reading alone, or catching up with their friends who seem like strangers now, or listening to that one favorite playlist that used to be on loop once upon a time. 

They stop doing their own thing, you know? There is no "Me time" or a time when they don't have their stupid blinking phone around just to make sure they don't miss his/her call/text cause that would lead to a hundred questions later.

And thus my head screams at such exemplary lovebugs:
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? (apart from you turning into a blithering idiot.)

Whatever happened to your ideas, your choice of clothes/people/food/shows/hobbies? 

Why do his/her opinions matter so much? Rather, why do only his/ her opinions matter so much that yours learnt to take a pass? 

You're obviously taking the "two bodies one person" scene literally. 

If you don't even stand for what you were so perfectly for so many years of your life before this bugger came along, how is a relationship a thrill then? 

And also, this is definitely not love, bro. 

So that's that. I don't even see the point of this post, but the conclusion is that I'm really, really confused (and bored). Lately I've been seeing so many people act the exact way I described above that it's creeping the daylights out of me. Certain friends who were such vibrant individuals before act like teenage husbands and wives. 

Don't people need space anymore? Rather, have people forgotten to ask the other person to back off after a point and let them breathe in their own territory? Is 'compromising' the new synonym for forgetting yourself altogether and living somebody else's time table? 

But of course, I've also seen a bunch of couples who're pro at being magic together. Some of them being on blogger itself ;)  I've seen certain people who honestly make all the compromises, fights and stuff so worth it and pretty much improve themselves for the better, not transform themselves. I've seen certain couples who make me envy their level of compatibility, their ageless romance and perpetual spontaneous spunk that never dies!

But sadly enough, I haven't seen enough of them. Mostly all I see is the horror I've pointlessly ranted on about. Perhaps I wouldn't have even written about it had a particular incident precisely 36 hours back not triggered it.

So that brings me back to the same question (I've honestly forgotten, but I'll ask one anyway),

what the hell is going on with such people, boss? And is all what I wrote about really a part of a normal relationship or are we talking about wannabe ships which never really set sail and imagine themselves to be the on-shore Titanic? (#RealityCheck) Most importantly, WHERE is the love? :O

And I have no idea just why would I even bother with typing so much on something so pointless at this point of time. (I'm obviously highly jobless)  Blame it on the Boards. :/

Bleh. I'm going to go get ice cream.
Dear world, go fight/make love/kill each other/win the Nobel prize.

I'm going to go get ice cream ^_^

-Random,much (you know you luuurrvve meh.)

Nil. =)

Blog turns 4!

Ye-p, homiez. This little spastic safe haven of mine started exactly four years back when I was a bored kid who typed everything in short-hand and went frog eyes at a friend who enlightened me on the idea of a blog. (Sandy, if you're reading this in the middle of your godforsaken nerd-clad engineering happiness, this shout's for ya ^.^)

So I've never acknowledged my blog's birthday before. The thought never seemed all that awesome. I was busy. And I was lazy. Really, really lazy. But now that I'm in the middle of my Boards and education in general makes me flinch, I thought it was about time I gave this little awesomeness in the cyber world some importance and credit. Yes, my love. I wouldn't have been able to become the unsound happy child that I am, without your dashboard entertaining my rants and fiction. Most definitely would not have ever shared even a fraction of the fiction pieces with the world, had you not bugged me with the 'Publish' button and spammed my mail with the comment notifications that slowly grew in numbers. I wouldn't have bothered ranting about life in general had I not realized that total strangers around the world were actually listening. I remember starting with one follower, and reaching to a 207 and still counting. So here's my cue to the next part, my loyal listeners- Thank you. 

You guys have been amazing, and it blows my mind off when I realize how many of you have become regular pen pals/ facebook/ phone friends despite the fact that you guys are in some other side of the city/country/world.

Yes. You guys shrunk the concept of  the 'world' for me, and your constant encouragements/ critiques have made me want to mooove my bum and write some  

So yah. I've always wanted to honestly and very sincerely thank you lovely stalkers of mine, each one of you are fabulous, just so fabulous!

And with this, Nil's Blog (Take it with a quick martini) turns four! 

Free martinis for you lot right here! (and once you guys realize there's none, H-I-T---T-H-E---B-A-R )

And now, I shall go and feel all maternal about how my blog grew up so quick and is a big boy/ girl  BLOG now! 

Because such is life, take it with a quick martini.

-Nil. 

A hungry mind.

You have one,too. Don't raise an eyebrow at me.

A hungry mind's what I own right now. The kind that hears things and chews on the intricate details of conversations, the kind that reads in between the lines and has started treating that little art as a particular delicacy of its own kind, the kind that entertains the voices in it; imputed or from a source that's alien, but somehow within. 

A hungry mind is a dangerous thing. It leaves you gathering layers of presumptions, conclusions, wishful thinking like layers of fat. And it's harder than you think to get rid of it. No matter how much you exercise over the routines of shutting the brain down, a hungry mind will find fodder from ignored sources that were considered harmless. You'll be baffled at its persistence. 

A hungry mind talks to you. It tries to reason out with you and tries to put a halo around it's intentions of advocating sleepless nights. It speaks of Insomnia in a tone that nods at it being productive. 

Image courtesy: Pinterest.

Don't fall for it, the words it spells out are 'Sadistic pleasure'. 

A hungry mind breeds in your pursed lips which refuse to acquaint itself with the world. The world talks a lot, you see. And I'm sorry darling, you're a part of it. The world feels insecure about your silence, which is why you've been autographed an arrogant lad. 

Your mind's tired of being the only one talking, it craves impressions, judgement, speculation, hypothesis...but this time, not from you.

-Nil.

I see bad moon rising.

So I sat online about an hour back with the sole motive of updating with some hardcore fiction and produce something intellectually stimulating. But you see my head's run out of brain farts, I like collecting drafts on Blogger, Pinterest has taken over my sanity, and I'm highly drugged. All I've done all morning is indulged in food, Economics and sadistic pleasure at the phone beeping on low battery. (You should try it, if you haven't.)

Anyhoo, so I thought that after my academic rendezvous I'll have a lot to write about; secrets and lessons of life and the universe, a whole lot of romance, happiness, sadness even? Yeah well that just ended up as  a whole lot of bullocks because all I did end up doing was snicker at snide sarcasm online,  listen to Nappy Roots (and twist along,btw) and enjoyed feeling absolutely shallow and bored, devoid indulging in too much of cerebral thought process. 

:D

And that, dear World is just what I plan on doing for the next hour before mighty Education calls again =)

Some Pinterest lowe for you, Thursday People!

*HIC.

-Nil. 

green sandals and sharpened pencils.

There's such a 'feeeeeeeeeeeeeel' to writing with a long slender new pencil on crisp ruled paper, right? Back in 5th grade we were in such a hurry to get started with writing with pens, whatte thrill it was! ink! How I miss the scratchy noise of pencils on paper now in a classroom.
Ideally, this post should have been fiction. But you see that doesn't happen when I have a week to go for my second terms, complimented with perpetual mind farts of anxiety and immodest hours of economics and political science followed by space outs of staring at my pair of green sandals and hoping to find the answer to everything in the universe, there.

Random photo clicked yesterday. I like :)

Last night was a breather,though. I went for a birthday dinner to a friend's. And since it was her 18th, we guys decided to go off the record and wear sarees. So that was quite an incentive to study my rear off the whole day just so I could gulp down some cake without guilt trips. Other than that, it was fun. I worked harder than the host, so I guess that gave me brownie points to the 'feel good' factor which are rarely encountered when you reach the month of November while the boards wait with sadistic patience sitting with fat answer sheets in March. Do you see? I've become obsessive about the whole scene. I can't have a conversation without the B word in it.
Must.stop.now.

Apart from that, I've been upto randomness. There's a series of Bokeh effects I'd tried a while back, and I always wanted to put it up on my blog. I just never got the chance to. (Read: I was lazy to uplaod them on the computer.) So since I have nothing spicy going on for now, and YET I had to come here to my safe haven and speak bull crap, I'll spare you darrrrrrling readers any further BS and award you lot with pretty bokeh photos for being too much of awesome listeners. Not to mention I FINALLY RESPONDED TO ALL YOUR EMAILS SO YOU GUYS CAN GO DO THE BHANGRA and refrain from responding with abuses : )

There you go. And while you guys check them out,click and listen to this (goes puurrrfactly.)- Pretty Lights Finally Moving.

Okay peeeppuulllzz. I should go now. My half and hour break just turned into an extended holiday. So adios, and I promise some fiction from ze next posters for you lot. (Obviously, since I'll be dwelling on ways to get through the next month without letting the suicidal part of 12th grade get the better of me.)
Laaaats of love,
Nil :)

Shit. Scrap that,Awesome shiz.

Remya asked me to write bullshit on my blog to get over the brutal Writer's Block my neurons seem to be entertaining very well,lately. So don't tell me I didn't warn you, but this post is going to be useless, pointless with a whole lotta shit :]

Fact: Loving the weather.
Fact: High on Cokestudio and Porcupine Tree all the time.



LAST MONTH WAS CRAZY. Downright,bluntly, starkly naked CRAZY. Starting from the sexiest Seventeenth I could wish for, to the month loooong dance rehearsals for Cohesion (which we didn't win,btw.. but heyy best memories ever. Ever, ladies and gentlemen.) Then the Open Day which was the best in all the 14 years of school, with the insanest band around and all my lunatic sweethearts dancing on my head and around :-) Theeenn. The Bombshell. WINNING CLOUDBURST 2011 with the band after singing Sweet Child O'mine! The fireworks in my heart when I was up there on stage, fearless, and singing out loud. Looking at the boys playing their stuff (Mantaah,sweet littul chote, you were sucha bomb!) not to mention having nice laughable chats with lavar Remya on stage while the song was on =P
And the Month ended with Shivvii my love's Birthday (Updated baby, you're always up on priority list even if I forget while posting bullshit :-* BUDDAY LETTER still due. Iloveyou. xoxo) and Rob's birthday and a whole week worth of efforts successful after seeing his reaction when he saw his gifts :") And then last night was his much planned and awaited Birthday Dinner for which two retards (read:Us) were seen on the streets of C.P at ten in the night falling and hopping all over the place with hats on looking as shady as ever and loud laughter!

Did I mention school started with Macro Econ? Not that you care. Also, I think I'm going to be obsessed with Hats for the rest of my life. Also, I never knew how awesome the CAFE 1 in CP is. Must.Go.Again.
Did you know it's my favorite season of the year? Also, that I've been pretty obsessed with green and orange? And that I'm going for a poetry competition this 10th? And that I've actually started going to school on Saturdays? And that I'm secretly depressed about school coming to an end?

I'm turning into a nerd,did you know? The regular weekend parties with my ladies/boys are coming to an end. Eeeslowwly. Because I want to study. :|
This weekend, I plan to sit at home and sleep. And then study. Then sleep. Then go for chai. And then study again. And then show up at school on Monday. I'm turning boring but I'd love that for the next six months, cause I really don't think I can handle the paranoid side of my parents anymore that's come up ever since those beetches of cutoffs came out this year.

I've been reading The Kite Runner and have also been managing to cry like a baby every two chapters. Khaled Husseini is one man who's described Afghanistan, friendship and human emotions like no other writer I've read till date has. In the simplest of words and the plainest of expressions, this man has been able to give me goosebumps with every dot completing a sentence.

On an irrelevant note, Breaks in school are insane fun! Actually School in general is awesome fun now! The retarded group (which has ten people,I just counted) has a new tagline that's yelled out every once in fifteen minutes.

"S***!""P****!" ---> Censored stuff. Children, refrain from deciphering :-)

Also, our School's new P.E teacher is a prick. And we've lovably named him something highly hilarious and versatile which if modified into sentences will make you roll on your back with aching laughter till you pass out.

And now that I've mostly ranted utter crap in this whole post,I feel much better :) The Writer's Block seems to be a stubborn one, so warning you already,I might be back with another round of bullshit. Like how Rem and I practice British abuses or how Vanta and Guina are retarded.
Till then all of ye,
quit staying indoors while the god's are generous, go out, play some in the rain :)


I'll enjoy a warm cuppa coffee now,
cheers..

Meet Bagwati :)

-Random, Nil.


P.S-I'm awesome.

Because some songs just make you forget your blues :)

School was downright murderous today. For no apparent reason,tho. I didn't even have double econ :/
But it was one of those days when you don't actually wake up all day, and you work around like a zombie. I kept falling asleep. Once, in the library. Once in Pol science. Then in econ. And the bus ride back home was just cruel. And now, when I can actually manage to grab a quick afternoon nap, I felt like a blabber, so here I am.
But that's not the point of this post. I was having a semi-blue-ish type of a day. Shifting from a bad mood to an okay mood.. When I got home, for some reason, I got all bleh and pissed. And there set a bad blue. But THEN, I check Facebook, and one of my friends happened to mention the song "Save the last dance" by Michael Buble.. and so I randomly out it on Youtube, cause it had been a while I'd heard that song. And Jesus lord, it pepped me up like magic. It's one of those numbers which make me want to grab a partner, put on high heels and swish some salsa skirts! And.. the music. The music is just lovely. One of those that you keep humming without even realizing it, cause it's just so damn catchy and sweet :)
The video's adorable. Do have a look,in case you missed out on it..

I have another looong weekend coming up, starting this Friday. I might be going on a road trip, just to get away from Delhi for a bit. Although I'm unsure about it. Or else, I plan to go to this old fort of sort Friday afternoon with a bunch of friends, followed up with a quick weekend trip to my sister's place. So either ways, weekend planned :) It's funny how I look forward to the weekends so much.. The weekdays leave me gasping for some kind of  a break. Oh and our date sheet for the first round of exams before the vacations are out,so I'm guessing this is the last fun weekend of April... But nevermind, I have two months of summer waiting for me on the banks of Hugli :)

 

Also, I wanted to congratulate Kanika Kaul for her 100th post and thank her for awarding me on her blog! Thanks lady. Your page is absolutely fantastic and hell so exotic! Cheers to you, and I look forward to many more of your blogger milestones :)

Anyhow then Wednesday people, I should maybe go and catch up on some sleep. I have a looong day ahead. I'm performing with my father for a music show, rehearsals begin today! So ciao, and don't struggle too much with the mid week. It'll be over soon :)

-clear skies,

Nil.

Another blabber.

Good morning, Thursday people!
I know I promised to resume my train of fiction in the last post, but it's the middle of the week, I had an off from school, I just woke up, cranky as ever, and I want to blabber and rant. And so, I resign to my faithful blogspot and your tired ears.

This week.. has been eventful. Told you guys about the weekend. On the 12th, I went to IHC for the big horn festival where Hari and Sukhmani were playing. Heard these guys for the first time, although I've been stalking these guys on Youtube for a week now. They have good stuff. But I'm in love with their track "Boohey Barian". Please listen to it, and furthermore, google the lyrics. They're beautiful.. It's the only track that's been playing on my computer since three days. (It's the seventh time I'm listening to it now) yeah,I have OCD with this song. But it's just the lyrics that set me flying,and listening to this song live was.... I don't even know what. I went into a trance. IHC has some amazing memories, and it all hit like a heavy bolt. Anyhow, listen to the song you guys. It's amazing.
Here are some pictures of the show -

So all in all, I went for a gig after a looong time, and it was awesome. Now there's a dance recital coming up this 16th at Kamani- Prayog 3. Google it, and try n be there. It's going to be a fantastic evening of contemporary choreography :)

I have Saturday off,too. Ma and I were planning on doing a quick getaway to Jaipur, keep your fingers crossed. Which reminds me, she called half n hour back calling me for brunch. And I should get going now. I shall hog on brunch, read some, finish my econ notes (need inspiration.), and sleep again. And then go out, I don't know where though?

Oh oh and I changed the layout of my blog, as you guys must have noticed. I needed something new, and I guess this one's the best for my mood lately. I hope you guys like it? :)
Anyhow, the week's going to end in another day guys, so hang on to your jobs a tad more!
I promise the next posts shall be fiction updates, for sure.

So ciao for now,
as always,
Nil.

cokestudio high.

I've been listening to Cokestudio everywhere and anywhere. When I'm at home/in the bus/auto/walking/bathroom/every night. It gives you a high, believe me when I say it. There's a literal whirlpool of things going on in my life right now, and coke studio is one thing that lets me disconnect and just float away, to some trance that's unreal but extremely pleasant to my mind. I stop thinking.
Anyhow. So,I had an excruciating econ class today. I have it every day, actually, at school. (I thought Micro was going to be fun, bah!) My extra classes for 12th grade are on. It's not even been a week and I feel as drained out as ever. I don't sleep before 3am, I get up at 6:30 am, reach the bus stop by 7:25 (to find out the bus doesn't plan to come till our session formally begins. joy.) , school starts at 8:30, followed by four fifty minute long classes of my subjects. Out of which Econ is thee most intense class ever, it's almost like the teacher would pounce on you if you looked at anything but her face for the next 50 minutes.

Anyhow. Moving away from Board year sadness to usual update- I've been writing like a retard. Which I'm sure all of you have guessed by now, considering I'm updating everyday. Yes, sorry about that. It's just that I have a lot to vent out, and writing is the only way out for me.. I have like, ten drafts saved up on my blogspot. Fiction, mostly. So bear with me.

Summer is finally in. It feels good.. I hate winters. It just makes every thing dull and sad around me, trust me, you don't want to be around me during winters. I'm annoyed all the time. Summer... is good! Summer is street food, sweat, sport, adventure, no comfort zone. Summer is exotic, and that's one thing my life needs right now. I need as much work as I can take, I need to go out and get working on something, I need distraction. And summer just seems perfect for it. It lets one sweat off everything. Everything.

I had a strange weekend. One that I haven't had in a while. I was mostly out with mom and dad, shopping or just generally weekending. It was nice.. for a change, I wasn't out doing anything else or whatever. I was at home reading my spy novel (William Boyd's Restless. Must read) or playing with my niece.

I'm already planning out my vacation. Calcutta is on,for me. My cousin plans to come down to Delhi, and then we'll both fly to Cal together. I can't even tell you how kicked I am about this, we plan to have the wildest time there,with all my party animal cousins who plan to crash too. And besides....... it's Calcutta. The one city that always feels like home. In every way... the people, the streets, the whole damn city!
And a getaway from Delhi is something I really need right now. The earlier, the better. I really need time out from this place.

Now I would have kept on typing since I have absolutely nothing to do, but I'm starved. So adios, I shall go lunch now. Lets see whatever the day has in store for me, cause I'm devoid of a single clue. Maybe I'll crash the Spanish Film festival. No actually, I have too much of econ to do :| Sigh. I guess the Spanish movies will have to wait until after 31st..

Buhbye people, and those of you who tried to call, I'm sorry. My phone's usually in the drawer now. Shall get back to you guys in no time :) But for now, I'm just taking my own sweet time to begin some productive stuff and not worry about anything else.



Something I clicked recently :)

Summer skies, Nil.

P.s- A lot of fiction coming up, so brace yourselves.

because i'm the tragedy queen.

SUP.
I should have been on my way to school by now for a trip that was supposed to happen until last night, but oh wait, I guess a particular community feel like sitting on railway lines are going to help that get everything and sort their shit out. SO. The train we guys were supposed to take to Udaipur was cancelled cause they had a bunch of guys sittin' and poopin' over the tracks, not letting the trains to function. THANKS.
THANKS A LOT you godd for nothing losers. I only wish I could smash some sense into your feeble wannabe rebel brains that stupid tactics like these will do nothing but earn you hate (lots of it) from people around the country,and you could count me number one alright.
I had been looking forward to this trip for a long time. I needed a getaway from Delhi. And it was just perfect. No phones. No laptops. Only a bunch of close friends, a good book, a camera and awesome food.
But oh no, I'm the tragedy queen after all. As if my life wasn't screwed up enough already in general with a godzillion things going on in my head that I've been trying to sort out and come to a decision for, NOW that one break that I DID deserve after a whole MONTH of exams has been snatched away.
Oh and to top it all up, I had my results today. All I'd say is 11th grade has been a scary ghost as far as an academic year is concerned and I'm just so glad it's over. I hope it rots and dies in hell and I hope it dies in pain and no peace.

Fact: I'm officially in 12th grade now.
Another fact: I'M NOT READY FOR IT.

I JUST got over with one round of boards (err a year ago) and now BAM! my final frikkkin boards are here. My parents have already started with the 12th grade-usual-parent-paranoia. My extra classes begin day after,and my formal session starts from 4th April. I plan to go semi-underground this year, cause lets face it- it's either this year or nowhere.

I'm in a morbid mood. (haha humor you?) I plan to do nothing but crash and sleep for as long as I want cause even the thought of 12th- another year of slogging is pissing the flying pig out of me.
I'm going to take my space for some more time, I need to turn into rainbows again, the blehh sad side of me is just really weird for me to handle.

A lot of fiction coming up.. that's practically all I've been doing. Sleeping. Reading. Writing a lot. Watching HIMYM. And going out a bit. Okay, a lot... so this was an update. Now the next posts shall have the stuff I've written over a while.....

I really could kill the railway operators right now.
I WANT TO GO TO UDAIPUR GODAMNIT. Also, I'm looking for some nice writing competitions.. but not really coming across many. If any of you know about any competitions happening, please be kind and let me know?

Now, I shall go eat like a pig.
Bye.
-Nil.

Melon.

Greetings, Weekenders!
Whaddup? Sorry about the quick update, in case that was too much to handle with the last post or something. But I'm in a super random mood, bear with me?

I had my Geography final exam today. It was blehh. In my defense, Snooze buttons should be screwed. Brutally screwed. From the past two days  I've been meaning to get up at 7:30am to study, but the frikkin' alarm is just useless, and the snooze almost seems to poke me and say "Sleep dear child, ignore me. Even better, throw your phone away". And hence the scratches on my phone. Not to mention that I've been stuck at home with a bad cold and nothing to do except study. Study Geography, a subject that I'm not very fond of, all of a sudden.

Anyhow. Remya just left. She crashed at my place after school, and now she's on her way to some.. err.. business convention or something with her mother and three more teachers from school (harsh,much?)
....I. I should be studying Pol Science, cause I just have two days to finish TWO books. But, since I'm useless and a procrastinating idiot, I will sit on my chair and blog about the wonders of life and snooze buttons.

Speaking of which, I plan to go on a creative drive after exams. Yeah, that was abrupt. No, I mean I plan to indulge in art, photography and writing (duuuh) A LOT in my free time. When I'm alone/bored/no one around me type. I plan to travel around Delhi on my own a little more, and just be busy. I want to be really busy. Yes, that's what I want to be.

I deleted 17 people off my Facebook today. I'm on one of those rampages where I delete people I don't bother keeping in touch with even if I'm on their list and vice versa.
I had a super heavy lunch, and I don't think I can ever get up anymore. Which brings me to my next point- I feel like having mango ice cream. Or khasta kachori.
Vanta, Guina and I are having the randomest Facebook war.

Anyhow. I think I've been random enough to content myself and torture you :)
I shall be back soon (scary laugh)
Which also reminds me I haven't watched HIMYM bloopers since a loooong time. So Youtube opens on the other tab.
Did you know Sulcata Tortoises are the largest continental land tortoise and that they grow to over 2 feet in length and can weigh over 100 lbs? :O

Okkbye.
-Nil.

I need a new watch.

Playing now: Madcon- Beggin you.

Bonjour, World!
Quite a shitty month'eh? Oh well so after two super heavy poem posts, I figured I'd spare you guys and drop in some light stuff and in short- catch up with the million FYIs and facts of the past few days.
I have decided I am going to go to Italy and Greece. FOR freaking SURE. Italy- because it's just so freaking gorgeous and with the food (Y) and woah just the place echoes nirvana.
Greece- because it would be such a waste to not photograph and write about perhaps one of the most beautiful places on Earth. All I needed was a couple of movies and google to figure what I've been missing.
So maybe I'll take a year off after college and fly off.
Or maybe I'll just wait till I have enough bucks to support that and not day dream.
Either ways, I'm going.

Today's been a bad day. Well, most of it anyway. Exams starting up from 25th. I just laugh at the thought of it, as I've already mentioned.. the thought somehow seems funny to me.

And now, for the Best news of the year, my sister had a beautiful baby girl! Yesssss. I'm a mashi now :"-)
They're coming back home tomorrow. So I've got balloons, banners, flowers, sweets yada yada to welcome my sweethearts. Heck I've been SO excited, it's not even funny!
And oh lord, she's so TINY! and so........umm...just so... TINY!!!
Anyhow, so tomorrow's the grand welcome of the cutie :)

Also, I saw this watch a few days back....and I'm in love with it. I need it. No seriously, I NEED that gorgeous machine. It's just that I can't afford it, err, not yet anyway. Hence, I'm saving up every penny that I own or find on the way and I hope to be wearing that watch on my wrist by the end of the month :)
Otherwise- you'll just have to deal with a pissed off post. So pray :)

ALSO. I officially loathe the organisers of the Bryan Adam concert. I studied so hard, behaved myself, bothered going to school even though there was nothing happening the whole effing day just so I wouldn't have to hear taunts at home when I go for the concert.
REALLY. Cancelled the gig for DOWNPOUR? yea sure, and whatever happened to the fact that those dimwits hired a place with the capacity of 6000 people and ended up selling 20,000 tickets?
AND then thinking they could pull it off? seriously, how retarded were they?
And now rumour has it that U2's going to come to India sometime soon for a gig,too. Lol. They seriously have cheeks to actually even expect international artists to bother coming here after how they screwed up so bad.

Anyhow. I should go now, stuff to do and help out with.
I shall catch you guys soon enough. Update me with how's the sun at your end, yes?
I was in a mood for a random picture, hence the photograph.

Playing now: Beggin you- for the fourth time.

Adios amigos,
some more rant to come later.

-Nil.

We want some rant!

Do you know how annoying can winter get? Specially for people like me who don't believe in sweaters? Every time I go on Facebook, I see cheesy people ranting on about how winter reminds them of love, romance, memories, songs, sobs, sobs, sobs, blah blah yada yada. Which is awesome for them. No offense, really. And in usual days, it wouldn't bother me. I give a penguin's feather to what people think of winter. And weirdly enough I actually started liking the season. But no. Winter feels crap now cause it's just so.......woolen.
yea, I'm weird. deal with it.

And JUST when I'm in a mood to rant about all the miseries and fortunes of my life, my darrrling mother calls to tell me that I'm supposed to move my rear and get ready for a wedding to which I don't intend to go to. But some how, I have a very funny feeling that she'll chop my head of into tiny pieces and feed them to my loving dog who's always hungry and happy.
If you haven't figured already, I'm talking from in between my teeth, and just cause I sound sweet doesn't really mean that I'm very happy about the on-goings of my crazy residence at this very moment when I can hear TV shows at full volume, my brother listening to his bike roar (he's always been peculiar), the dog barking and not to mention THE COLD.
AND IN THAT COLD, I AM TO DRESS UP FOR A FREAKING WEDDING AND LOOK PRESENTABLE WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO right NOW IS BURY MYSELF INSIDE A HEATER AND BLOG FROM THERE, if there's any connection.

I'm sorry if that hurt your eardrum. Actually, I'm not.
So this week has been eventful. VERY nice, actually. Getting into details will make me happy, but today is one of those days that I'd rather be grumpy in. You know what I mean, right? so don't text me, do yourself that favour. Or else, you shall receive a reply in upper case which will be a spectrum of delightful screams and shouts. Thank you very much.

Now. I should switch my computer off which gets to sit at home and chill every day, without having to worry about food, clothing, grades, people or WEDDINGS.

I'm irritated.
Bye.

I just stopped by to say Hi.

I'm sick of finiding myself blogger templates. I need something that suits me, and I can't find it. It's useless.
I've been in a morbid, completely anti-social mood. For reasons that you wont blame me for. I'm getting annoyed when poeple are poking me about what's been up, because I'd really appreciate being left alone in a quiet bubble with loud music right now. Okay that makes no sense.
I'm going to ramble. So you have the choice of not reading it.
Are you still reading this? Whatever. Okay. Then, listen.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. The four day long vacation has been... not a vacation at all. This Diwali was a bitch. A bitch that was almost like the world celebrating my agony. Almost everyone-including me- expected a bloody sentimental post after it, but my mind had other plans. And that was ramble. And that's exactly what I'm doing.
I'm taking space.
I'm exhausted with my head ramming over things that are just ending up screwing my head up. The song by Beatles- "Let it be" has and is going to be my motto for a while- till I get my shit together.
I have stopped giving a damn to people who don't give a damn about being there for me when I need them. And well.. I'm basically done with acting all Mother Teresa like. You want me to give a damn? You need to give a damn about me, other wise, Ciao. No seriously.

I should be doing Math now. I have tuition after school tomorrow. My tuition teacher is determined to make my life miserable.
I went and spent a LOT of time at my sisters' place today.. after a long time. It was amazing. And.. for once.. I wasn't bothered about the number of calls/ texts I was getting.
For all of you who I haven't responded to- I'm sorry. I shall get back to you guys soon, very soon. Just cut me some slack for a while, and we shall catch up in no time.

I realized mango ice cream is awesome. I realized that at times, it's okay to shut up and just.. be.
I'm excited to meet an old friend. But I'm just not excited about meeting people.
Yes, I'm so not making sense right now.
I want to huddle up in a blanket and sleep. I've been sleepy and cranky and not hungry at all since about two days. I hate eating. It makes me puke. And shit I sound so weird.
But sleep is good. Sleep is awesome.

I was watching 2012 today. I thought Mayans are stupid. I don't anymore. Actually maybe I still do. I don't care, right now. The movie disturbed me, and that did not help.
I've decided to not keep in touch with people who call me only when they  need help.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T FIGURE DIWALI IS OVER AND ARE STILL BURSTING CRACKERS. I AM SO SICK OF THE NOICE,PLEASE CUT IT OUT ALREADY.
No offence intended.

I'm going to go do some Maths right now, because my life sucks :)
I hope assholes like people who pick on 16 year old's pockets go and burn in hell.

And to the rest of you, the World.
Chill.
My next post shall be much more calmer, sensible, and would have less BS.

GET ME ICE.

PISSED OFF.
-Nil.


P.S- This post was about saying Hi, right? Well, Hello.