Pen pals and postcards.

For the first time in the last seven years did I skip an end-of-the-year post. Perhaps it's one of the first changes that 2015 decided to bring along, but hey, for those who are still listening- the happiest new year, my wonderful humans.
My old readers wouldn't be surprised to hear about my perpetual incapability of recalling the year that went by, but like each year- it left behind a feeling. 2014 was a year where I really brought my game on as far as competing with myself is concerned, it burned me out emotionally and physically but I feel like it straightened me out in ways that wouldn't have been possible in any other way. I had never realized the kind of distress love could bring, so there, that's one more thing I've seen- the realization that love has a side that could be immensely futile was perhaps the scariest realization of mine in the last 20 years, but I think I'm alright knowing that now.

2015 is going to be a year of aggressive amounts of getting work done. Yes, it's the year to be ridiculously productive. It's the year where I'm going to push myself to start laughing my ass off on nonsense again, of going on multiple breakfasts to my favorite cafe and read or doodle for hours. I think I sort of lost that 'spunk' somewhere. I think I lost it in trying to find it in other people, or even some times believing that others will induce that magic in me at some point. Mistakes. A whole lot of Berlin-Artparasites and long nights of Bukowski did me well, for they reminded me of the importance of being ridiculous. So basically this winter has too many solo escapades around the city as soon as my Uni applications are done (if I survive them, that is).

From the 2015 Letter Project :)

I've started this new project of sort for 2015. I've been typing letters on my typewriter and sending them out to people, just because. I feel like the lost art of letter writing is a horrible loss, and if sending out a letter to someone nudges them to start writing them once again- it's definitely worth the shot. So I have a long list of recipients and I'm terribly excited about this! If everything works out alright, I may even extend this project to you fantastic readers. I thrive for wonderful things like pen pals and postcards, so this year is about reviving those old habits.

How have you all been? Tell me about your year and plans that drive you. I wish you all the most wonderful year, go badshit crazy and make this the most memorable 12 months that change you, that make you grow and make you thrive. It's a wonderful life, and that's a cliche for a reason.

To those of you who emailed me wondering if I'm still alive- you guys are the best. I'll get back to you all real soon. Go make wonderful things happen for yourself, keep the happy vibes alright? :)

All my love,
Nil.

(P.s- fiction coming up, realy sooooooon.)

Musings of the last 31st.

Greetings, to the participants of the last day of 2013.

There you go, another year about to disappear into the winter sky and here I am, with my annual musings on the 365th day of the year.
And as usual, I'm frozen because I have nothing to write. That doesn't suspend the countless ups and downs that '13 went down with; it's my annual incapability to recall the year. All I can recall is a feeling. And it was perhaps.. not the most shiny year. But then again, my years have the principle of bipolarity that has to always be maintained. Thus, some the worst things along with the absolute best happened.

Although I'm usually swamped by a feeling of sadness when I end the year, this year however, I cannot wait for 2014 to get here already. And for the first time, I've decided on resolutions and I'm counting on my over competitive drive to maintain them.  (and kill me, eventually.)
The first one being, I've decided to write every day. Yes. Every single day. Even if it means 5 lines, so be it. But my black diary must be filled up by this date next year. I have realized that my horrible accounts of procrastination have made me regret the unproductive result of this year, and not having purpose is physically painful for me.
The second one being, to quit being the strangely reserved person that I've somehow managed to become over the past year. The reason for which being inexplicable. I have realized that I've surrendered to a nutshell as far as being thoroughly vocal about perhaps my feelings about the closest people in my life (which is ridiculous because that wasn't a practice I would ever consider in general.) And so, begins my resolution to start being a careless person again. I thoroughly miss it. I miss being absolutely maddening a person.


So there. I don't have much to say this year. I don't want to play around with emotional metaphors and similes, this new year post. I'd just like to take your leave now by wishing you a very happy new year. Tomorrow is a blank box with a teeny number on it, in the calender- do it right. :)

Much love and may y'all stay blessed.
-Nil. (:

P.S- and yes I want a cat. I REALLY WANT A CAT. 2014 ARE YOU LISTENING? or mom ?

Paperplanes of May.

Every year has a particular month that changes how your life has been for a period of time; let's just say that has been the reason for my absence. I don't know how often will I be around now, this summer is going to be a little more of my-space-bubble oriented, but I'll try to keep you guys posted on the happenings of ole Nil's life.

My love for pictures and summer tones be back. The camera is travelling all around in my big white bag, despite the rude heat making life difficult. My fancy phone is away at the repair shop. Thanks to my perfectly normal clumsy self, the screen of that perfectly maintained phone is now shattered. I'm using a phone as good as rock, and as last season as calling glares; "goggles".
But that's fine. There are no facilities except calling and texting, so I'm good. It's done a brilliant job at keeping me away from the human population as such, and helped secrete some serious thought process and ideas from my lazy brain that was sleeping thinking it was still winter. So it's going to be a summer of 8tracks.com, pulling every mote of thought out of my head and working on a fiction project I've decided on, and a whole lot of ice tea and mojitos. Sounds like a plan my alter ego had been craving for. Little boxes of a lot of space is going to be the mood, for this summer. And a whole lot of summer-y pictures. So until the fiction project takes a stand on paper, I'll post them pictures here and keep you entertained.
No promises, though.

Thank you SO much for all the support in the last post. This safe haven of mine breathes because of you guys, who save it from soiling away. So stay tuned. Nil can never really shut up, can she?
And a humongous Thank You to the lovely bloggers who thought of my blog being worthy of awards. I've added them to my hall of cyber fame- y'all are so kind. (:

Until I catch them paper planes of May, open them up, write on the papers and send them back to you, enjoy the obnoxiously immodest heat. Summer is bringing it on.

Muchos of love and all that jazz,
-Nil. 

I have a lot to say.

Greetings, World. 
This is one of the I Have A Lot To Say series. I wouldn't call this post completely fictitious, it's a...different style of writing that I attempted, to free my head of certain epiphanies and visions that were rather vociferous. This post was inspired by a random photo of a lazy cat that came and cuddled next to my foot and I clicked a picture of. Just like the other post of this series, the following is somewhat a cornucopia of strings of thoughts, that came in one after the other while I was in the strangest mood, and I never stopped. It does not follow any order, nor do the tenses. It may not make sense, due to the drastic transitions of odd imagery. But it's raw and unedited.
That should be intriguing enough.

______________________________________________________________________

The lazy cat looked like she knew what she was doing. There was not a hint of abashment or fear as she kept slumping her hilt on a new spot every time the bedeviled waiter shooed her away, making strange noises. At another corner of the world, a boy sat down ridiculing how people phrase regions of the world as 'corners' when none actually exist, when there isn't a literal end to the world, and how in reality, we're all naive early men within who comfort themselves with ancient, impractical thesis. At that very moment, a stand up comedian in your home town makes a cat's purr the butt of his pun and a blink later, the lazy cat stirs next to your foot. While you distract yourself from the utterly boring conversation the lady ahead has to offer, you look down and the cat looks up. And right at that very second, the stand up comedian forgets his punch line.

A gypsy woman recites her burglary around the world to a six year old boy, while her scarf hides the source of her dreamy voice. A caravan stops eight stops early to pick her up and away it went, puffing smoke from its choking rear. 

Mars decided to shine a brighter blood red, and that simple celestial decision made an old man very happy. He smiled a weak smile that peeped brighter from behind his half moon spectacles.. He particularly missed his dead wife, tonight. 

While such preoccupations worried the world, the cat purred next to my foot. And when the waiter came to shoo it off yet again, it picked it's hind up and settled on the foot of another distracted conversationalist. The lazy cat looked like she knew just what she was doing. Unlike me. 

-Nil.

 

Starry Starry Night

Hello.

Hadn't I promised a photo update some million years ago? Yeah, well there y'go. Last night, my Seeboo Sud came over for a sleepover and decided to (like always) entertain my retarded idea of drawing stars all over each other and hit photoshoot mood. (Yuz, I heart you prettyface.) In my defense, I wanted to experiment with tones and image processing and well, yeah. Now if you're done judging me, you may go right ahead and have a look at all the loco pictures that follow.

-finito-

Oh come on, it was a fun photoshoot. Deep, really deep inside, you know you want to do something like this when you're utterly bored and...well, crazy in general. In other news, college is crazy hectic but I'm loving it without no complaints! Meeting new people continues, and eating super cheap (and yummaayy) food continues just as well. Hopefully, the next post will make some more sense with a few fiction pieces that I've been working on. Yep, feeble light of intellectual engagement by yours truly is what you can hope for the coming week.
I must now take your leave and indulge in some music and quick fiction. Or, I might just go watch Sherlock. (again.) So yes, toodles! Have a good week, and come back for the weekend to read some fiction here, y'all =)

-Love and all that,
Nil.

What you want to hear, what I want to say.

HELLO!

Just how have y'all readers been? Yes, it's been a while. The month of June has been an erratic sketch of ridges and troughs, but we shall ALL take a moment now and thank it for the perfect end, yes? 

After much ado, life is finally, finally good. I made it to one of the best colleges in Delhi University (!!!) and college starts in a month. Orientation Day is on 20th July, oh and might I mention I'm on my toes.

I'M SO EXCITED IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY :D 

The professors are absolute sweethearts and the kids are different shades of fun and intellect. I absolutely LOVE the college campus! University Feeeeel at its BEST. The colleges is a typical old school, red bricked building (♥) with loooong corridors with ample sunshine and pretty green fields here and there. I'm yet to see the library, shall do on orientation day =)  

Travelling is going to be well, tiring. But it's worth it, so hey. What the hell. 

Anyhoo, in latest news- It was ze Beedles's birthday on 28th. So after screwing up her dress, ensuring she lost her pair of brand new contacts and hogging on a strange yummaayy mix of Chinese and South Indian we figured we'd push off for home when the sentimental Jack in us kicked. You see the education hungry was to run away to Bombay today to become a hot shot lawyer and jazz. So we figured one last sleepover was due, and thus sleepover we did. The night was spent lying around on the couch calling old stories at each other and munching on crackles with pickles (*keyboard stops working with all the drool on it.) 

Some fart jokes and a few heart-to-hearts pretty much sums up the night. 

I'm going to miss you, dipshit. AND THAT PHOTOGRAPH MUST BE PINNED TO YOUR PINBOARD AT ALL TIMES. Okay? OKAY? Yeah, okay. 

In other news, I be going for a trip! To the hills with 3 of my favoritestestest homez. Should be fun, but hey, I'm not saying nothing till it actually happens. So yes, shushh about the excitement. (*silently screams like a happy little girl)

Other than that, I'm figuring ways of ditching out of a dance show. I want some time off from absolutely everything and chill out some. These 20 days before college starts must be spent judiciously doing everything awesome. OH AND BIRTHDAY MONTH IS ALMOST HERE. :O I have no clue if I'm doing anything or not but ehh. Must figure out soon :|

And ofcourse, Piyushsterrr going on about some surprise he has in mind for ze birthday does not help my excitement levels ^.^  (If you're reading this Pickles, TELL ME ALREADY.) Oh, and don't go? Please? Thanks.

Moving on, fill me in with what's up with y'all? How's the weather at your end? (small talk. FAIL.) How's everything been? Who died? Who lives? Oh, and apologies to have not been around much and throwing in my comments. The college scene had the best of me the past month. But I shall stalk you guys right up and catch up. Mails to be answered by the weekend, promise :)

I'M GOING TO FRIKKIN COLLEGE YOU GUYS.

Oh, and random photo update-

Yes, my room happens to be very pretty.

retard picture 9384948. Pickes clicked!

Yeah, okay. I'll go now =) 

Muchings of lovin'

-Nil.

P.s- Fiction, soon enough. Yes, very very very soon!

Popkinz Poptarts.

I work under pressure, I've realized. I have a dance recital in less than a week and I decide to even consider working on it when I get a call from one of the organizers who casually mentioned the dress rehearsal is on 16th. A Hiroshima Nagasaki happened in my brain, considering I didn't even know the name of the second solo I was to work on. So yeah, finally when I figured I was screwed did I manage to finish one part of it, in an hour and a half. Hell yes. And then I turned into an overconfident areshoool, so I left it at that. And well, tomorrow's the dress rehearsal. And. Well, lets just say I don't even know the other song by heart let alone remember and dance to it. So for the next two hours (or more), I plan to work my rear bones off till the choreography stands at a respectable place. And I think I'm going to be a work-o-holic, once I start working. Irrelevant.
Now playing: Forgotten Dreams.

In other news, I won 2nd place in the 27th Blog-a-ton that I participated in! I got a fancy cyber Silver batom and everything =P But thanks you guys, who voted. Awfully kind, I say. I be so thrilled. Free cyber martinis for you guys, as always =)
And to add a tiara, thank you Bumble Bee for the lovely blog award! Much too niceness you are, Bumblezz. =)

My tiny cousins were over last week. Went slightly berserk hitting the TV screen for no apparent reason with the 2 year old while the 8 year old spoke gibberish in the Garfield style into my ear. There was food flying around the house and the voice levels of tiny children were sure underestimated by everybody in general. It was a disturbing surprise. But aah well, cute kids. Slightly apeshit crazy, so I got along just fine.
Ye-p. That be them.

Other than, the weekend was. Well. A mess. Everything sucked monkey balls till yesterday, but Tuesday's been OK so far. Tomorrow's quite a day to reckon with; 16th! (Yess, I know you're reading, saxyface. Haaah, go stuuudy.)
So we'll save the chaos in my head for a rainy day. And for now, I shall take your leave, reader. It's time to give the overconfident douche in me some dance lessons. The next post...might be a photo update. There are a bunch of photographs I've clicked since January. So I was planning on some change from the fiction and my mindless rants.  Anyhoo, that's for later. Later, amigos.

Much amour,
Nil.

....of Tuesdays, dubstep, and god-sent comrades.

Greetings, Tuesday People!
The day started with a royal ditch by most precious fraaand and was saved by Economics and absol-uuu-tely sick dubstep tracks.
To elaborate- So yesterday my beloved Remya called and we decided all of us ladies were going to die in some sly corner of the house if we didn't get out and get some air. She sent me very attractive texts like "My sputum is going berserk" just to make sure we bunch of faithful friends show up at her doorstep to initiate the thrills of life in her world of blown up tonsils. The plan was set, but of course, it was our education hungry south indian friend Remya Raj who thought it was fine to keep the window open all night and let in the (chilly) breeze. In her world it was also considered very clever to pull an all nighter till 5 am while you're sick already. So then she called up drunk on illness to cancel her tag along (the call that wasn't remembered by her 4 hours later.)
Anyhow, so Guina and I went trotting to Vanta's den anyway. I had plans of going to the nearby Tuesday market and shoot some portraits, but then I realized that I was a very lazy human being and Vanta's house was a little too cozy in general. SO, I shot those buggers instead. No proper shoot though, fooling around.

annoying-ly pretty friends with braids

annoying-ly retarded and happy FTW.

when Bihar meets South India and tries to copy West Bengal.

I had vowed to come back and drown myself into mighty education. National Income was almost crying out to me. But then enter Robin. Who by the way got his first shave done and looks like he hit puberty all over again (I'm sorry Rob, I told you I'd do this to you. See? You're important to me :D Nyhahahaha. )
So apart from him walking around all conscious and awkward about his face which apparently feels all light and airy it was the usual routine of good ole chai in the back lanes of Market 1. Life almost felt normal again, and the tiny existence of Boards was almost out of my mind until he started nagging like a little girl that he had to get back home -.-
Baah. Either way, today was a good day! In terms of academic hours, not so much. But yeah, I was reminded of fresh air existing beyond my little tiny corner in my little room with my not-so-little books  =)
So anyhoo, now that your ears are about to fall off, my mission in life is accomplished and I will now go and (seriously) indulge in mighty education.

They said money didn't matter. And then came in Economics. And then came in National Income, Like A Boss.

-Nil.

Polaroids.

Hello! It's been a strange month, with times of absolute unadulterated happiness as well as sudden and thickly interspersed space outs. My subsequent rants have obviously made that fact quite clear.. But I promise this one's the last! From the next post onwards, there's going to be fiction. Cause even I'm going to bury my nose deep into books and then my lovely sister will make her way to Delhi.. So I'm going to be terribly busy and you shall all get a break from the perpetual rants of erratic mood swings.

I just got back from a Raghu Rai Photography exhibition.. a close friend happened to read about it in the newspapers and so we decided to go have a look. I'm still awestruck at how the human mind creates such terrific concepts which leave one's mouth wide open after realizing the gravity of the thoughts behind each and every photograph. Ragu Rai..of course, is one of the best. But there were a bunch of other collections by various photographers who aren't very celebrated, and each and every photograph blew my mind off. At times, black and whites can be so overwhelming, and they almost make your mind travel to a distant memory that you never knew you retained inside you anymore. And the best part is, they're all feelings and people you see and feel every day. But the way each and every thought and expression had been emoted so profoundly into print was laudable. Inspiring and overwhelming..
I got some interesting photographs, too. Of the exhibition and people around.. Here are a few :-)

So yeah. That was my update for the day, and that's going to be it for a while now. The next half of the month, I shall be busy spacing out from social networking, the phone shall find its cozy place in the drawer and I shall find best friends in multiple hours of NCERT textbooks and joy in Pahargunj and karaoke nights with my darling sister and our friends :-)
Basically, I shall rely only on interaction in person. Which is so much better and lesser hassle. Don't ask me why, though!

So tata world,
I shall be back by the end of the month. Till then, enjoy the fictions coming up. And take care!
Thumbs Up,
Nil.

Snippets.

Blissful without Facebook. Never thought I'd say that.
While I was on my break from Pol Science : 

I love.

The BEATLES Coffee Table book.

My first Valentine's Day Rose. 2009. (From my old diary)

My birthday, 2009. Woke up to find a huugge bouquet of roses.

What Remya and I do in Pol Science.

Economics class :)

Happiness.

 -A slightly different,

Nil.

Murders are beautiful.

No they're not. But illusions of pretty things I tell you, they fool us.
So there's a photo I clicked at Vanta's today. Bunch of ants were feeding on the remnants of a beautiful moth. And the dreadfulness of it was numbed by how beautiful it managed to look, the synchronized procession of the ants, and the wings of the moth still looking just as gorgeous while lifeless.

Illusions of pretty things I tell you, they fool us.

-Nil.

The month of May.

No, my blogpost title isn't that because it's May, it's because I wrote a fiction piece called The month of May and I CAN'T FIND IT. I wrote three short stories on paper, and now those nine pages are missing from my room and I couldn't be more annoyed.
Anyhow. This weekend was pretty okay, better than the last two sad weekends. I went out for a shoot to Hauz Khas on Saturday, and finally had lunch at Gunpowder, a place I had wanted to go for so long! My cousin was over, so she and I had our own little ball on Sunday. We went lunatic shopping, that ended with a movie with aaalll the brothers and a late night return back home :-)  Not to mention the predicted crapped up Geography paper the next day, but oh well, it was inevitable, and I couldn't give a damn anymore.

So my first round of exams are over! And school gives over in less than three days....and then. Trust me, the kind of wild laughter that's ringing in me, if only you guys could hear it too, you'd know what I mean!
It's giving me a hard time to realize the fact that this is the last summer vacation of my school life. Sure, I've abused school enough in the past fourteen years, but now that I'm left with a tiny 6-month tenure in it.. I realize I've been such a fool :|  But then I'm also excited about college, very excited actually. But hell, even the thought of not having my retarded group of friends around is just appalling. They've been such an umbrella to everything since I can even remember. But anyway.. leaving that aside for a blogpost on the day of my farewell, I shall come back to summer break :P

So yes, this vacation- I plan to make it memorable. I don't want to be sleeping every day, I plan to sleep till late every alternative day :P Most of May I won't be here, I'm going to Orissa with a couple of friends from school for a week long workshop where the most eminent cultural artists from around India will be coming! Yes, that's another biggg news I shall share with all of you later, it's going to take up some time :P But in short- It's something I'm really looking forward to and I'm crazy excited about it!
Then comes June. I plan to stay for Vanta's birthday and then leave for Calcutta for a good three weeks! And then come back in time for Remya's birthday :*
Considering I've been ranting about Cal on my blog since about two months, you guys must be fairly acquainted with my plans :P  So yes. They're all fixed and good to go! Some Place Else shall see my face very soon and quite often- as promised by a die hard Cacuttian ;)

So anyhow, I should probably go now. What a pleasure it is to ditch school, wake up so late and then find your tiny niece to be home :) So I shall take your leave now, readers. I'm working on a bunch of fiction now that I'm going to be absolutely free for another two months! So brace yourselves :D

Oh and here's a photo I clicked in Hauz Khas. It was just so cheerful and something that would remind me of good times! So I wanted to put it up. Hope you guys like it :)

Ciao, Tuesday people. Ditch office with a half day, y'all ;)

-Nil.